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  1. #1
    Jo Mazz
    Guest

    Too sensitive for this forum

    Though I should have known better after my experience here last year, I dared to post parts of a ms I\'ve struggled with for many reasons. One reason is, I\'m not a writer. The most pertinent reason is, it\'s about a subject that broke my heart.

    I\'ve been accused of using this site as a means of therapy, and it was implied that I was insensitive to others who have had their hearts broken in the same way. I was horrified! Yes, I cried. I was swatted with insults, and though I dodged several sarcastic posts, there were some great directions given to me. I will use them. Thanks for those.

    I never joined a writers group. I don\'t intend to. I am not seeking a career as a writer. I wrote a story for the sake of those who need to read it. I paid 2 editors a lot of money to fix the things I couldn\'t. In my ignorance, I took many wrong roads with extrordinary efforts to make this ms as good as it should be. (Including reading many books written on the same subject.) It was important to me to see this book make it to publication because I wanted such a book once. I couldn\'t find it.

    As for knowing how to approach agents and publishers, I was clueless of course, because I have never written a book. I am in the restaurant industry and have owned and operated five of them. That\'s what I do. My education in that industry is non-surpassed and I\'m proud of it. If any of you needed advice about that kind of career, I\'d certainly not slam you all over the pages of a God forsaken place such as this. I\'d answer your questions without insulting your lack of knowledge. Nothing about your \"journey\" would \"Rile me\" because your journey does not affect my life at all. And, if you didn\'t take my advice, I wouldn\'t have a brat attack and imply that you are stupid, nor would I assume anything about your life. Mostly, I wouldn\'t speak down to you or give you homework and offer to speak with you again when you completed it to my satisfaction after threatening to stop posting to you because you didn\'t respond, according to what I felt was, \"appropriately.\"


    Cindy? I have a opinions too. I don\'t think you\'re here to help anyone. Maybe you\'re a frustrated writer who likes to see her words in print on a forum filled with infectious negativity. See? I caught it too! Does it help anyone?

    Good luck with your work and Have a very blessed Christams. Prayers to all of you, and most especially for those who have lost children. My heart goes with you.

    Bye,

    Joanna

    PS Gary Kessler, Your website is fantastic. Wish I saw it last year.



  2. #2
    Lea Zalas
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Jo,

    I responded to few of your other posts and I think you're being harsh about what you expected. There for a while you were saying how happy you were that you gave WN another chance, and now, because of a few criticisms you didn't like, you're chucking the whole forum again? You can't have it both ways. Just because people supported and sympathized with your loss didn't mean they couldn't give you good advice and stern critiques. Your writing needed it. And if you want to get this memoir out there you have to reach a point where you stop living the story and start writing it - just like every other author.

    I only told you I lost my son, but I didn't tell you that I also lost him to suicide. It's a gaping hole that never heals. But, knowing where you're coming from, I can honestly tell you that I would never want to read a memoir that wallows in self-flagellating (sp?) grief. A memoir has to offer help, hope and insight to those who read it. I did not get that from your posts although I think you probably could offer that, but only if you can put aside your feelings and the obvious target you've placed on them, and WRITE IT!

    I wish you the best and hope someday you can reach the point where you can live again without always pointing to yourself and saying "But I'm in pain." We all have pain to live with.

    Lea

  3. #3
    Lorelei Armstrong
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Too sensitive to get criticism from a bunch of strangers who might be lunatics and idiots? You do know that writing for people other than your mother means receiving and endless stream of criticism, right?

  4. #4
    Author Pendragin
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Jo,

    Even if you are not thinking about becoming a professional writer, it's still a good habit to become proficient with the craft of writing itself. There will always come a time when you need some form of written communication. The best thing you can do, especially when it comes to a memoir, is to realize that the critiques are about your writing and not about you.

  5. #5
    Jo Mazz
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Lea my book does offer help. I didn't post the ENTIRE ms. He committed suicide; I didn't. I wasn't the executioner and neither are you. There is healing and I did "WRITE it."

    "I don't need to read a book that wallows in self-flagellating grief"

    What does that mean? Is that CONTRUCTIVE criticism about my writing?

    Your first reply to my post was a criticism about the content of a piece I posted about a grief group I attended. Instead of critiquing the piece, you whacked me for my attitude about the grief group. ???? I was flabbergasted! FYI, that's the way I felt at the time. Why did I need to defend myself about what I was feeling? I asked for help with the writing, not the subject. I could have been writing about the price of peppers!

    " wish you the best and hope someday you can reach the point where you can live again without always pointing to yourself and saying "But I'm in pain." We all have pain to live with."

    I'm not in pain Lea. And I am not pointing to myself. I have a peaceful message that I wanted to share with others who are. What I shared of the ms here, was not the heart of it. It was a brief part. It's a memoir and ofcourse I expectedsomecharacter assasinations, but not from someone like you!

    I'm reading Kessler's site. There is enough there to get me where I need to go.

    Good Lord!

    Thanks

  6. #6
    Robert Wilson
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Sorry you feel that way Jo.

    You may want to check out this site, <http://frustratednovelist.com> it contains info, no crit.

    RW

  7. #7
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Why do people say this junk? Why don't they just leave if they don't like it?

  8. #8
    sam albion
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum


    Rogue... ppl say this "junk", because they feel hurt, and want everyone to know why... personally, I don't think that's a sin...

  9. #9
    John Hawkwood
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    "The best thing you can do, especially when it comes to a memoir, is to realize that the critiques are about your writing and not about you."

    Unfortunately that's not always true. I've been tracking this and Jo was very receptive to criticism about her writing when she started, and she made what I thought was a good-faith effort to apply the advice she was given.

    What happened to really push her away, I think, is that she then received complaints that she hadn't followed every single bit of advice she had been given to the satisfaction of the people on the boards, and suggestions implying that she wasn't using the board properly or that if people's comments were going to be "ignored" then she shouldn't be wasting their time. That's not criticism of her writing, that's really criticism of HER, and I'm not sure how constructive it is.

    Here, as anywhere on the Internet, you should come with a thick skin and be prepared for rough treatment, but that doesn't mean the people who react badly to it are necessarily in the wrong.

  10. #10
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Too sensitive for this forum

    Rogue... ppl say this "junk", because they feel hurt, and want everyone to know why... personally, I don't think that's a sin...

    Yes, they want some more attention. If you want to leave, just leave. Then you don't look like so much of a jackass when you come back later. Cuz if you throw a big hissy fit and then decide the grass wasn't greener on the other side of the fence, all you can do is come crawling back or you have to make a new ID for yourself. Trust me on this.

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