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Thread: Brain strain

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  1. #1
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Brain strain

    (1) A cluster of heads accumulated by the door, like a bunch of helium filled balloons at a party.

    (2) A cluster of heads accumulated by the door, as if a bunch of helium filled balloons at a party


    Number two doesn’t read to well I know, but is there anymore takes on ‘as if’ or ‘like’ for similes .

  2. #2
    Josh Lemay
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    You use "like" when no verb follows in the comparison. Your above example is a good one for this, so "like" would be correct.

    You use "as if" when a verb follows. Here's an example of how you'd incorporate it into that sentence:
    "A cluster of heads accumulated by the door as if they were a bunch of helium filled balloons at a party."

    Hope that helps.

  3. #3
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    Yes thank's, but I need more alternatives to like and as if... if you can think of any?

  4. #4
    Josh Lemay
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    <http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Simile#Without_.27like.27_or_.27as.27>

  5. #5
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    Many thanks, I've saved that to faves.

    um, can you think of anything as obvious as 'like' or 'as if'

  6. #6
    Battle Angel
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    resembling? similar to?

    Doesn't your word processor have a thesaurus?

  7. #7
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    Good point, but just looked and I can't see much. I have a great many similes; all sort of poetic, but I think I'm stuck mainly with the two I'm using. Thanks anyway.

  8. #8
    Butterfly Kisses
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    Personally Martin: a metaphor usually follows "as if" or "like". That's a sign of weak writing. You should consider eliminating the metaphors and leave the scene to display the imagery.

    BK

  9. #9
    martin shaw
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    Not understood sorry?

  10. #10
    Cindy Kay
    Guest

    Re: Brain strain

    Martin,

    What about skipping it all together? And nixing the cluster as it already gives the image your balloons do.

    Heads accumulated by the door, a knot of helium balloons, static-sucked to the door frame.

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