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Thread: Leaving Hope

  1. #21

    Re: Leaving Hope

    "So, please, unless you have something to add--real, true criticism (positive or otherwise) please keep it to yourself."

    You have no control whatsoever over the comments you'll get here. If you don't like them, ignore them.

  2. #22
    A.J. Fisk

    Re: Leaving Hope

    Agreed, leslee. That last bit was for mutt and mutt only (well, and the Don Daffrons of the world). I see a lot of potential here but sometimes it just falls by the wayside.

    And Gary, if you read it and post your thoughts on it I'll take it under advisement. I'm not trying to sling mud, I'm just trying to figure out my best approach to this project. Sorry if I came off as an @sshole. Can I start fresh?


  3. #23
    Rogue Mutt

    Re: Leaving Hope

    That's the thing about first impressions--you only get to make one.

  4. #24
    sam albion

    Re: Leaving Hope

    the second version was better, I thought. He was doing something, and the thoughts were thoughts, instead of just backstory.

    You can't do too much of it though- if it was an entire rumination type novel it would get boring, unless you really connected with the character...

    If you think that you need to add lots of explanations to carry the story forward then you've probably started the story too late, and you need to show some build up to his "now state"... as other posters say, showing, not telling, is better for the reader...

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