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  1. #11
    zhi wong
    Guest

    Re: comment needed--2

    *Sigh*..fail again..sorry sorry.
    My bad..



  2. #12
    Chris Redd
    Guest

    Re: comment needed--2

    Don't take that attitude Zhi. Try to work on your problem. I honestly think an agent would look at this story. It's an editor's job to extract unnecessary words and sentences.You have the ability and talent to write. Don't look down on yourself. You can always learn to remove things. Try to take some grammar classes or read books on grammar. No one is expecting you to perfect English, especially if it's not your first language. Readers do expect you to at least write your story in acceptable english. Once again an editor can help you out with those things. You did pretty good. Put your stories away for a little bit, or move on to your next chapter. Don't worry about getting it perfect. As you are writing ask yourself, "does every word in my sentences need to be there?" Take out anything that isn't needed.

    Basically, you just need to tone down the amount of words that you use. Don't stop writing, just don't overwrite. It's not a complete failure, it's just not as compact as it could be.

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