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  1. #11
    Joe Trent
    Guest

    Re: Punctuation/Style Question

    You could make it a little more active.

    John snorted a mirthless laugh at his friends' countless unhelpful suggestions. "Declare bankruptcy. Move to another country."

    He shook his head. Thanks for your support.


    Or something completely different.



  2. #12
    stevenlabri τΏτ
    Guest

    Re: Punctuation/Style Question

    If there is a prize involved, I'll suggest a few more.

    ;-)

  3. #13
    Busy Lizzy
    Guest

    Re: Punctuation/Style Question

    But, sadly, Ord isn't reacting.

    So much for "friends offered countless helpful suggestions".

  4. #14
    Blair M
    Guest

    Re: Punctuation/Style Question

    Maybe he's moved to another country

  5. #15
    Gregory White
    Guest

    Re: Punctuation/Style Question

    I like Cathy's suggestion the best. Just reading, no pacing required.

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