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  1. #31
    S Stull
    Guest

    Re: just looking for critique :) first post ever and I\'m a bit nervous!

    Hi, Ally:

    "At first I was kinda down about all the things I didn't think about, but now I feel more determined."

    Good. Seriously. That is the attitude to have.

    Everything everyone here has said, minus the name-slinging, is a good crit. This is the same general kind of response you'd get get from other writers--say, in a writing group. I think that if you take your story, use the crits, and repost in a few days, you'll have something.

    Just me. Keep at it!

    --Lyra

    Ps. That first description is very nice.



  2. #32
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: just looking for critique :) first post ever and I\'m a bit nervous!

    Most all you do is belittle with your F..ck-up comments to all-you suck!

    Gee, with such winning sentences like that I'm surprised you haven't hit the bestseller list yet.

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