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  1. #1
    Matt Austin
    Guest

    Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    I'm sick of the romantic, all-powerful, goth vampire genre! Check out the first page of my new story and tell me what you think.





    From the Journal of Issac Strudd:

    Vampires are real, and they can be killed. If you stick a wooden stake through a vampire's heart, it will die. Jam it into its brain, or shove it far enough up its ass, and it will die.

    We don't have to fear these dirty creatures any longer.

    Vampires are easier to pick out than you might think. For starters, they're undead, so they stink real bad. They're brains have been starved of oxygen, so they're pretty stupid.

    They're allergic to the sun, so they only come out at night, making them easy pickings during the day. I like to douse them in gasoline and light them up. Reminds me of when I was a kid, and my dad would knock down the giant hornet nests on our farm. We'd watch them crawl out and burn. Good times.



  2. #2
    Debbi Voisey
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    Interesting... you're one sick dude, but I think you got it from your dad

    But it's "their brains" and not "they're brains."

    Debbi

  3. #3
    Matt Austin
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    Whoops! I should've double checked. I posted that page down from memory (MS is at home) during work.

    Yeah, I should be be doing my job, but writing is better than playing card games.

  4. #4
    Gregory White
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    It reads like one of those stain removal commercials. You know, the ones with the guy with the black-dyed beard?

  5. #5
    Ray Veen
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    Very catchy. Love the narrative voice. And I especially love that somebody is finally doing something different with vampires.

  6. #6
    Keith .
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    God, I hate that guy. Billy someone? Makes me want to pull an Elvis and shoot the TV.
    km

  7. #7
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    Sounds like you've made vampires into zombies.

  8. #8
    Matt Austin
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    Yeah, that's kind of what I was going for. Why should vampires always be portrayed as romantic and mysterious?

    If they're undead and suck the blood out of people, I think they should be seen as more vermin-like.

  9. #9
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    Why should vampires always be portrayed as romantic and mysterious?

    They weren't always like that. I don't think the original Stoker Dracula was portrayed as overly romantic and the classic silent film "Nosferatu" portrayed the vampire as a really weird-looking dude. It was really after the Bela Lagosie (sp?) version in the '30s that this romantic angle took off.

  10. #10
    Ray Veen
    Guest

    Re: Sick of Romantic Vampires? Check this out!

    As a YA writer, I regularly check out the bestsellers on Amazon and B & N. Right now, they are bloated with sensual vampire stories. Its obscene - like fifteen of the top twenty-five.

    I haven't seen them this unbalanced since Harry Potter began to fade.

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