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Thread: Opening Line

  1. #11
    d. Leroy
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Hey Rogue, you ain't been visiting those weird websites, have you?



  2. #12
    stevenlabri ô¿ô
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    cliche

  3. #13
    Matt Austin
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Rogue Mutt:

    I like it. I'm glad to see his mother cared enough to aim her thrust.

  4. #14
    Joe Zeff
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Rogue, it reminds me of one in a Donald E. Westlake book. Not the first sentence of the book, however. The MC earned is living by writing dirty books and what you came up with reminded me of one he'd always wanted to use: "She used to be in show business until the pony died."

  5. #15
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    OK, pitchforking people is cliche? Well there are all those farmer's daughter jokes.

  6. #16
    stevenlabri ô¿ô
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Not the pitchfork, but the line, so to speak. Just an opinion of course.

    I recently read “All About Lulu by Jonathan Evison. His first line:

    “First, I'm going to give you all the Copperfield crap, and I'm not going to apologize for any of it, not one paragraph, so if you're not interested in how I came to see the future, or how I came to understand that the biggest truth in my life was a lie, or, for that matter, how I parlayed my distaste for hot dogs into an '84 RX-7 and a new self-concept, do us both a favor, and just stop now."

    Now, if that doesn’t reek of Salinger:

    “If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it, if you want to know the truth.”

    And yet,
    "Evison's debut is a stunner! . . . viciously funny and deeply felt . . ." -Publishers Weekly



    By cliché I refer to the use of the wording. The thought process behind the line seems overrated, or overused--something out of a dime store novel.

    “If my mother had stuck the pitchfork an inch to the right I would have never existed.”

    “If the bullet hit an inch to the right, we wouldn’t be having this conversation.”

    “If I had decided to go to the office today, I wouldn’t have seen my children tonight.”

    “If I have shiit in one hand and hope in the other, which will I feel first?”

    I just think you can do better.

    JMHO

  7. #17
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    I just think you can do better.

    That's where you're wrong! ;-)

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