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Thread: Opening Line

  1. #1
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Opening Line

    How's this for an opening line:

    "If my mother had stuck the pitchfork an inch to the right I would never have existed."



  2. #2
    Gregory White
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Well, she either has it pointed at her husband's crotch or it's a really RADical abortion!

    I'm guessing the first is correct?

  3. #3
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Her husband? That's a pretty sexist assumption on your part. :-P

  4. #4
    nom de plume
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    I like it, Rogue. I like it a lot.

    Right away a reader wants to know how, despite valiant efforts, she still lost and ended up in such a bad way (by conceiving you. Can it get any worse? . It invokes a strong visual. The reader will stick around to learn more. Mission accomplished (for an opening line).

    Good voice, too.

  5. #5
    Jean Bonifacios
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Opinion? Wouldn't that be a great hook for a query letter too? I'm not sure if it's okay to use a line from your MS but I'm just wondering?

    By the way, great opening line!

  6. #6
    Jay Elwood Seymour
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Well i've definitely got a mental image!

  7. #7
    Derek Wayne
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    ...a comma after right would be good.

    DW

  8. #8
    jayce
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    Is this the story about the sheep farmer's wife?

  9. #9
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    she still lost and ended up in such a bad way (by conceiving you. Can it get any worse? .

    Sadly my life story hasn't involved any pitchforks yet. Maybe after I die there will be some pitchforking...

  10. #10
    cara k
    Guest

    Re: Opening Line

    This is a great opening line, Rogue. It creates an instant reaction from the reader.
    Good luck,
    Cara

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