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  1. #1
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Graphic verses Pornographic

    I am trying to write a love making scene. The characters are married and with children. I find writing a sex scene to be easy and fun. I never realized how difficult it could be to write a love making scene. Any thoughts on this? I want to post a couple pages for critique, but I don't know how graphic I can be on this forum.



  2. #2
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    See how it frazzles me? I misspelled versus.

  3. #3
    Rogue Mutt
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    I'd say just put it up on a website or blog and put a link here so people can read it or not, although the moderators don't ever seem to be here anyway, so you could probably get away with some dirty stuff.

  4. #4
    Jean Bonifacio
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    Married sex? All that comes to mind is, "Can we just skip ahead? I'm exhausted!" or "Let's get this over with!"

    I'm always partial to never closing their eyes. (Seeing everything is pretty exposing and not usually done unless there is complete trust) Of course, that is through a female point of view, guys like to watch everything!

    Oh and I always like when they focus on the face. A lot of stroking and face cupping. Kind of like taking a moment to see who you're about to....

    Married sex isn't easy. I'm not sure why but if I read a scene that involves married sex, I feel a little obtrusive. I get a little oogled out because I feel like a "peeping Tom." I never talk about what kind of sex my husband and I have with my friends....but I will tell them all the sex I had before I got married. Good Luck! Sorry if this was just babble again!

  5. #5
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    That's exactly what I'm talking about. It's so much easier to talk about first date, or just plain sleazy sex.

    Anyway, I read the rules and it prohibits sexually explicit photos and obscene writing. I don't think this is obscene and I'm not including photos.

    So, here is my example. Please critique. BTW, this is purely fictional and in no way represents any experience I may or may not have had.


    Sara kept her bedroom door open. The digital clock blinked 12:00 and she regretted not setting it earlier that day. She wanted to get up and stop the incessant flashing, but he might catch her out of bed. She didn’t feel like talking.

    She really didn’t think that David had betrayed her. She trusted him. For Sara, it was a matter of respect. David had never mentioned meeting the girl next door. Of course, the half-naked slut beside her didn’t help the situation. Sara wondered if David had spoken to her as well. And if so, was she dressed at the time?

    Sara heard the dog’s paws clicking against the hardwood floor as he padded toward Alicia’s room. She turned her back toward her husband’s side of the bed, closed her eyes, and waited.

    Soon, she felt David climb into bed.

    “I know you’re not asleep,” he said.

    Sara remained silent.

    David’s hand gently touched her shoulder. She didn’t move.

    “Sweetheart,” David whispered, “Don’t be mad. I love you.”

    “Umf,” she grunted.

    “You don’t think I love you?” David whispered, “Sweetheart. What am I suppose to do when someone says, “Hi”? Should I ignore her?”

    Sara didn’t speak.

    “I get it,” David said, “It’s the other girl. I never saw her before. Come on Sara. You’re being silly.”

    David’s fingers stroked her smooth skin. He leaned in and kissed the back of her neck. “I love you,” he whispered.

    Sara bit her cheek.

    David’s hand slid to her breast and gently touched her nipple. His tongue rolled a small circle on her neck.

    Sara giggled.

    “I knew you were awake,” David said.

    Sara rolled over. David’s lips found hers and his mouth opened into a passionate kiss. Sara put her hands against his chest, intending to push him away. But she touched his flesh and felt the contours of his strength. Her tongue danced with his. And when the kiss was over, he whispered to her again.

    “I love you,” he said, “You know I love you.”

    Sara looked into his blue eyes and smiled.

    “This is the part where you say you love me,” David said.

    “I’m thinking,” Sara said.


    David grabbed Sara into his arms and pressed his fingers into the most sensitive part of her back. Sara’s laughter erupted. Her body jerked against his embrace.

    “That tickles!” she managed to shout, “Stop! That tickles!”


    “Say you love me!” David said. His arms held her flailing body with ease. “Say you love me.”

    “I love you!” Sara laughed, “I love you!”
    David’s fingers relaxed and Sara took a deep breath.

    “Now kiss me,” David said.

    Sara pressed her body and her lips into his. “I see you’re ready,” she said.

    “I’m always ready,” David replied.

    “It’s me, right?” asked Sara, “Not the slut next door?”

    “Do I have to tickle some sense into you again?” David asked, “Jealous is good. It means you love me. But really, you have nothing to be jealous of. Now stop talking about them or you’ll kill Mr. Happy’s happiness.”

    “I wouldn’t want to kill Mr. Happy,” Sara grinned.
    Sara’s hand slid down between them. Her fingers found his stiff excitement. She wrapped her hand around it and gently stroked him.

    “Umm,” David moaned.

    She could feel his eagerness throb. She released her hold and allowed her fingers to glide up the smooth skin. She touched the top and made tiny circled around the slick tip.

    “Put it in,” David whispered.

    “Don’t tell me what to do,” Sara whispered.

    “Please,” David said.

    “Get on top,” Sara said.

    Together, they rolled over. Sara gently grabbed him and pushed him inside her. He moaned softly. She could feel his intensity grow. The bed creaked in a steady rhythm. She felt him climb deep into her body and she cried out. David moaned louder. The headboard struck the wall.

    “Ah,” Sara sighed.

    “Mommy?” Christopher asked, “Are you alright?”

    Sara and David froze.

    “Christopher,” David said, “Go to bed son.”

    “Are you alright?” he asked again, “I heard you crying.”

    “We’re OK sweetheart,” Sara said, “Go back to bed. Close the door on your way out.”

    “I want to sleep with you,” Christopher whined, “I’m scared.”

    “Sara,” David whispered, “I was almost there.”

    “Christopher, go to bed. I’ll be right there,” Sara said.

    “Alright mommy,” Christopher replied. He waited for a moment and then slowly stepped out of the room.

    “Close the door!” David said.

    The door swung closed.

    The bed began to creak again. David eagerly resumed his steady rhythm. Sara thought of Christopher sitting alone in fear of every shadow, noise, and smell.

    She clenched her feminine muscles. David moaned. She released and clenched again, and again. David thrust himself deep inside her and his entire body flexed. She could feel his unit twitching and a burst of heat exploded inside her.

    “I love you,” he said.

    “I love you too,” she replied. She eased out from under him and hurried into the bathroom to clean up.

  6. #6
    Jean Bonifacio
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    Oogled out a little but sounds pretty realistic to me. One, she obviously didn't finish like David did! Two, she went to the bathroom to clean up which NEVER happens with sleazy sex!

  7. #7
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    Exactly. This is my first attempt at writing this type of scene. Odd. I've written many, many sleazy ones.
    This seems weird, but necessary for the developement of my character. And yes, this is the same story with the drug addicted, fifty-something-year old. This character is her opposite.

    Stacy

    Do you think the kissing is over the top? It's make up sex.

  8. #8
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    BTW, if it were really my husband and I, the foreplay would start with, "Get in the truck bitch." just kidding

  9. #9
    Jean Bonifacio
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    If it's make up sex then she should probably not give in to the kiss with her tongue so fast. Maybe he could cup her face a little to force the issue. Because if she's pissed then he's going to have to do a little more coaxing than just that!

    My foreplay starts with, "Come on! Pleeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaase!"

  10. #10
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Re: Graphic verses Pornographic

    My husband calls me from work and says, "Am I going to get some tonight?"

    Wow! What technique! Makes me hot all over. (SARCASM)

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