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  1. #1
    Jean Bonifacio
    Guest

    Past and present flipping

    I think we've all discovered that I need a lot of help. I wish I would've listened more in English class. I posted this blip earlier regarding how to appropriately put thoughts in my manuscript. (They are in italics...thanks to Keith teaching me italics) I just can't get the tense flipping right! I am telling the story in the present but telling about an instance in the past. Please give me an example on what to do to make it correct.

    Even before I said it, I knew it was the wrong thing to say but my curse will never be broken. At first Sam looks offended but then she looks to the side at the foyer mirror and starts hysterically laughing. Sam’s laugh was always infectious so I immediately start laughing too. As we continue to laugh, I remember the many sleep overs at Sam’s house where I would always have to bring three pairs of panties because sometime during the night I would always end up hunched over peeing myself pleading with her to stop laughing. I knew Sam always noticed me running to the bathroom with a new pair of panties but she never said anything and never made me feel dumb.

    That was my friend, sensitive to what needed sensitivity.

    “You better calm down before you pee yourself Karen!”

    Bitch!



  2. #2
    Stacy Copping
    Guest

    Re: Past and present flipping

    I wish I could contribute a life changing piece of wisdom here. But, in truth, you read my attempt at creating a flashback. I have since deleted any and all flashbacks in my story.

    When reading your piece, I can easily follow the switching from now to then.

    I remember when... Well done.

    Stacy

  3. #3
    Ce Ce
    Guest

    Re: Past and present flipping

    I'd change it as follows to read more consistently:


    Even before I say it, I know it's the wrong thing to say but my curse will never be broken. At first Sam looks offended but then she looks to the side at the foyer mirror and starts hysterically laughing. Sam’s laugh has always been infectious so I immediately start laughing too. As we continue to laugh, I remember the many sleepovers at Sam’s house where I would always have to bring three pairs of panties because sometime during the night I would end up hunched over peeing myself pleading with her to stop laughing. I know Sam always noticed me running to the bathroom with a new pair of panties but she never said anything and never made me feel dumb.

    That's my friend, sensitive to what needs sensitivity.

    “You better calm down before you pee yourself Karen!”

    Bitch!

    And now I'll see if the bold/italics post the way I intend them to ...

  4. #4
    Jean Bonifacio
    Guest

    Re: Past and present flipping

    Thank you very much!

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