More paragraphs (Young Adult)

[The Midnight Writer]

so far, i've been the ranter, so now i'll be constructive.

I'm glad you've got a character arc planned for your brat, i'm glad the point of your novel is her growth and change, but i have to have at least one characteristic in the first few paragraphs to make me care about your character and stick around, rooting for her to grow up and see the good within herself. I have to see those good qualities that she can't see because she's too busy screwing around with her friends. If i had a hint of those characteristics, i'd stick around to see if discovered them herself.

i agree with d. leroy and nom de plume.

basically right now, you've got a girl lying on a beach taking an infodump. it's all an internal monologue of backstory. the action doesn't even begin until the beach drinkers catch her eye. Cut, rearrange. Have her discover the beach drinkers much earlier, all the information before it can be scattered around later through dialogue or flashbacks while she's drinking.

I mean really, what does a teenager love more than complaining to herself? Complaining to other people.

[Keith .]

Mutt, my 12 year-old says "snook". She snook out. She snook in line. Drives me crazy, but she hits me back with, "What, Dad, that's what all the kids say. Do you want me to look like a nerd?" How the hell do you win that argument?
km

[Jackie Lynch]

She doesn't quite speak like a teenager.

you have "...still sad but a half grin slowly forces it’s way out."
try something like: Was still bummin' but it'll be cool.

BTW should be its not "it's" it's = it is

"I put back on my headphones and crank the music up."
plugged in my buds and scanned my playlist

you use "ahhh" a number of times ...sweet, awesome words like that
watch some teenage shows on TV and you will see what I mean.
BTW - mom and dad only get capitalized if the character is speaking directly to the mom or dad