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Please critique
Hello, I'm a first time writer. I was looking for some input on my work. This is a first draft of ch.1, but it has had some modifications. Just let me know what you think, thanks. Hope it's not too long 
Dr. Sebastian Hoffman, a renowned bio-chemical scientist, was working on one of his many projects. This particular project was to determine the long term impact of refinery waste being dumped into the Mississippi River and how these chemicals affect reproductive habits in fish as well as the dangers of human consumption of the effected fish.
Dr. Hoffman at age thirty began his carrier with the Leachman Corporation after completing his second Doctorate in bio-science at Yale. In those days his hair was jet black, he didn’t need glasses and his posture was more upright. Now at age fifty-seven, his jet black hair has begun to show flecks of gray. His blue eyes had now become pale and crows feet had appeared at the corners of his eyes from the many years he had spent peering through microscopes. As with many who lead a sedentary lifestyle he had put on a few extra pounds. Though not entirely overweight, his midsection had expanded somewhat giving him a pear shape, which might account for his sagging posture. Dr. Hoffman was a devoted husband and father of two daughters, and a company man who was dedicated and dependable, but there were times when he felt that his years of service lacked something with regards to recognition.
“Dr. Hoffman?” inquired a man in a dark suit.
“Yes?” said the doctor turning around to see who was calling him.
As the man approached, Dr. Hoffman observed that he had dark hair and a mustache with a goatee and was wearing eyeglasses. The man was slim and well dressed, he carried himself in a manner that gave the impression he was in a hurry. Dr. Hoffman wondered how the man had entered the high security building.
Extending his hand, the man spoke saying, “Dr. Hoffman, I hope you will pardon the unannounced visit. I am with an organization called the Keller group. I am here to make you an offer that could change your life.
“Sir, I’m a very busy man. I work for the Leachman Corporation and any offers you may have will need to be presented to them. I am sorry but I must ask that you leave, thank you and good day.” replied Dr. Hoffman. A few lab tables away stood Dr. Janet Meacham a colleague of Dr. Hoffman, who could not help but overhear some of the conversation.
Dr. Meacham had a dark complexion from her years growing up in the California sun, but also from her time in the field taking samples to complete her required lab work. At age twenty-four she received a Masters degree in Ecology at UCLA and through an accelerated Doctorate program at age twenty-eight received her PhD in Bio-Genetics. She was attractive and had naturally curly brown hair and wore a pair of thin lens glasses that outlined her brown eyes. The glasses were to correct her far sightedness. She couldn’t stand the thought of using contacts; the idea of putting something in her eye was more than she could handle.
Frowning but undeterred, the man pulled Dr. Hoffman away from curious ears and in a low voice said, "Dr. Hoffman, it is not my intention to bring my offer before the Leachman Corporation, I specifically came to see you. Your work deals with an animal or insect’s ability to use chemical agents as a defense mechanism. The people I represent are willing to pay you a hefty sum of money if you can bio-engineer an insect that has the capability of transmitting a pathogen.”
At first, Dr. Hoffman thought the man to be joking. “Are you mad? What kind of pathogen? What do you mean transmit?”
The man explained, “The Keller group works primarily on safe guards and security for national defense. As for the kind of pathogen you do not need to know, and by transmit, I mean infect. The Keller Group understands that your research of chemical agents in insects, used as a weapon is at the forefront, and because of this you have been chosen as a top candidate for the job.”
“Sir, I can assure you that flattery in my line of work will almost always get you everywhere, but what you are asking for, if it was to get into the wrong hands, could cause a worldwide outbreak, and I will have no part in such a conspiracy.”
The man, with a smile said, “I understand your hesitance in undertaking this experiment, but conspiracy? On the contrary, the Keller group does not involve themselves with conspiracies. It is our mission to develop the means to protect human life, even if by the use of force. Remember Dr. Hoffman, we at the Keller group can make you a very rich man.
The man paused to determine if his words were having any effect, “Such a shame really, all those unpaid bills, the mortgage holder calling all the time, your two daughters in need of education assistance. What are their names? Elizabeth and Jenny, I believe you call them Liz and Jen don’t you? We can make it all go away. You have twenty-four hours to make up your mind, we will be in touch.” Turning the man left Dr. Hoffman to ponder the proposal.
“What was that all about?” asked Dr. Meacham
Startled, Dr. Hoffman said, “Janet, I didn’t see you. Oh, it was nothing. Just someone needing directions to the exit”
“Are you sure you’re ok? You seem a bit pale.”
“Yes, yes of course I’m fine. I’m just fine.”
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