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  1. #31
    Paradise Wolf

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    Hi Dave

    I finally got a worthy literary criticism. It is your post. Thank you.

    I will try to reply your post in the first chance.

    However, I am not sure if I will be still around. Some people here got triggered by their tribal belligerent instincts against "foreigners" ( some people call it mob mentality ). And I may be expeled before having chance to reply your kind and genuine criticism.

    Anyway, I appreciated your generous effort.

    See you later ( hopefully ).


  2. #32
    Paradise Wolf

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    "You are a troll and will get no more attention from me."

    Don't expect me to lose my sleep because your lack of attention.


  3. #33
    Paradise Wolf

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    Hi Dave

    I finally got some spare time to reply your post.

    {{You never really tell us what this piece is, so it is difficult to know how to react to it.}}

    I already gave some information right in my first post but I will append more information now. This text is the first post aimed to launch a new topic for discussion in a internet forum.
    Since, it seemed to me, that its text represents my typical way for conveying my ideas in a written form, I thought that it would be a good idea to submit it for literary criticism.

    {{Are you planning on writing a book on this subject? Is this an essay that you plan on
    publishing? }}

    Yes, though I am not sure yet if it will be a book or essay.

    {{Generally speaking, writing non-fiction (with perhaps the exclusion of memoirs, diaries, etc)
    requires a lot of research.}}

    I am pretty conscious of that. And no, it is not just “hot air”. During my academic time, I already got a BS in Biology and I was about to get also a master degree for educational purpose ( teaching biology ). I did not finish all the courses necessary to get it ( I changed idea ) but I frequented all lectures about educational methods. Additionally I worked as teacher in the past ( biology in secondary schools and also about on computer programming languages ).

    There are already several educational theories that strongly criticize the current educational methods ( and each other ). My educational experience and my theoretical skills made me to device new educational methods. However, I have to develop my ideas even further in a great extension.

    {{What matters ia that you know how to back up that opinion. How to refute your opponent's
    points before he even makes them, while fortifying your own position. The best way to think of it is that you're a lawyer arguing a case.
    While it may be your opinion that your client is innocent, nobody really gives a damn about
    what you think. (no offense meant) What people do care about is what you are able to prove.
    That is why lawyers tend to rely on evidence, precedents, witness accounts, etc}}

    I perfectly know it. I also was a former scientist ( in Molecular Biology ). And in scientific publication, listing all important scientific reference that support your experimental results is paramount.

    {{Mr. Wolf...I know all too well myself that it isn't easy to take criticism of your work.
    Especially if you're not used to it.}}

    On the contrary, I am pretty much used to it, you will never find more sharp, tough and precise criticism than the one addressed by colleagues in the scientific community.
    Furthermore, I am experienced debater since early in my teenagers and I believe that I have very sharp critical thinking.

    {{There are issues of clunkiness and awkward/incorrect wording. }}

    I am not surprised by that. English is my third language.

    {{There are some, rather condescending implications that you make (the majority of people aren't creative, hence the current education

    This is not condescending at all. This is the reality.

    Tell me, what is the percentage of the population comprised by brilliant scientists, inventors, writers, artists or any people that profusely use creativity in their works ?
    100%? 80%? 50 %? 10%? far less than 1% ?

    {{but your most dire problem is that you prove absolutely nothing.}}

    But this is obvious. This text was just a post aiming to open a discussion in a forum. The scientific evidence and statistical information to support my point would be added gradually with the development of the discussion.

    Anyway, who, in his sane mind, would think that any serious point could be made with just an very short introductory text ?

    Now, regarding to SOME other replies that I received in this forum, I have to say this:

    The problem of most people is that they frequently make hurried, stereotyped ( and, not rarely, the most negative ) assumptions about others based on very few clues. This is even worst in the internet, where some people unleash their worst competitive instincts. But I cannot blame them ( I criticize them though ).

    As biologist, I know that this is how the human brain works on most scientifically untrained people.

    {{As for the actual writing. Impressive for someone for whom English is a third English, but not as much when compared to native writers. If you are serious about getting this work, whatever it is, published, I recommend submiting it to a professional editor. }}

    Thank you. I took note of that.

    I also thank you for correcting my grammar. I frequently make the errors that you mentioned in part because I have the unconscious habit of writing in English but thinking in the Portuguese way to express ideas and construct sentences.

  4. #34
    Kate Humphrey

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    I was not going to get involved in this discussion, but I do have one thing to say. How DARE you insult anyone on this forum, no matter how angry they made you of having a problem with foreigners because they didn't like your piece? In the beginning I saw some people that I have seens some posters who I have seen in the past give you some good advice, but you didn't seem willing to take it as a suggestion. If you post something on here, you have to accept that people are going to be honest? Isn't what you want? But don't accuse people you don't know of being against you because you are a foreigner. That is insulting and totally not true in most if not all of these posts.
    Finally, while Dave was nice to take the time to critique you with specific suggestions, who is writing the manuscript? And, Dave, don't take that personally, I think your critique was well founded. Kate

  5. #35
    The Midnight Writer

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    Yes, that must be it, we're all xenophobes, it has nothing to do with you behaving like a pompous jackass.

  6. #36
    Kate Humphrey

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    Ok, after that vent I decided to give you what I can. While reading throught the peice, albeit briefly, I got the idea that it was a controversial topic, meant to convince people about something. This is what I have on that.
    First of all, we all like to vent, especially something important to us, but it has to have a contemporary slant, and some original points. You probably have that, but what you may lack is a general interest that a lot of people could identify with. That's the first question.

    As Dave mentioned, you could use some quotes from educational experts to back up what you say. That will lend some credence to your argument, and give them some credibility. Almost any viewpoint shoudl have some support published somewhere by someone who agrees with you. Check out some of the educational information (I know, research can be a pain, but it does let you know waht the opposition is.)
    Finally, you have to acknowledge the opposition so people dont' think you are just trying to attack anything that is against you. It can even be used as a hook.

    One final word, you seemed to be very hurt by what some people on here said. When you publish some of these controversial pieces, expect a fight and expect to have to be able to stand up to criticism without getting upset. You need even thicker skin for that kind of writing than other writing. Granted, you don't hve to listen to anyone, but some acceptance of critism migth help you become a better writer. Kate

  7. #37
    Paradise Wolf

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    {{One final word, you seemed to be very hurt by what some people on here said. }}

    Not at all, Kate. I do not feel hurt. This is precisely a good example of the type of hurried assumptions that people use to make.

    Criticising back has nothing to do with feeling "hurt".

    I could be amusing myself and laughing my buttons off while I am criticizing back. Can you see now how wrong was your assumption ? It is precisely because of mistakes like that is that criticism has to be bidirectional ( working in both directions ).

    Only presumptuous people want to criticise but avoid receiving criticism back.

    There is no infallible people. Everybody, experienced or novice, make mistakes ( and it is even worst when they try to make assumptions about others ).

  8. #38
    Kate Humphrey

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    Ok, then I am done. I was trying to help you and was expecting maybe a thanks for the ideas, but that was too much to expect. I am sorry I even bothered to type out the help now, but you keep trying. Kate

  9. #39
    Vaughan P

    Re: I am incapable of accepting anything but kisses to my golden...

    How does one go about "laughing my button's off"?

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