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  1. #1
    Brandon Cleveland
    Guest

    First person present tense - okay to use "I" and "There"

    I'm trying to use different words and make it work, but say there's twenty paragraphs, and five start with "I;" what are your opinions?



  2. #2
    carole kamienski
    Guest

    Re: First person present tense - okay to use "I" and "There"

    Five out of twenty doesn't sound bad to me, as long as they aren't all in a row.

    -Carole

  3. #3
    C Bets
    Guest

    Re: First person present tense - okay to use "I" and "There"

    Rather than different words, perhaps you could play with describing a scene. For instance,

    In the middle of the room, my dog continue(s)(d) to gnaw on the antique Persian rug...

    or

    When the next bus arrives, ...

    Bad examples, maybe, but you get the idea.

    C

  4. #4
    M. Deschanel
    Guest

    Re: First person present tense - okay to use "I" and "There"

    Considering that the English language is immensely rich with possibility, may I politely suggest that if you have to start so many sentences with the egotistic "I" that you are probably a self-absorbed writer who ought to do something else?

    WHY do you start so many sentences with "I"? Do go have a good think about it.

  5. #5
    Anthony Ravenscroft
    Guest

    today's stupid aphorism:

    you are probably a self-absorbed writer

    (1) "self-absorbed writer" tends to be a redundancy

    (2) this comment makes the semiliterate's error of confusing a writer with her/his narrator & suggests lack of critical skills

    (3) it's also concisely snide & snotty -- lord knows, I'm an expert on that

    But do have a good think about it, eh?

  6. #6
    Harley *
    Guest

    Re: today's stupid aphorism:

    In first person present, I is going to be unnoticed by the reader most of the time. However, I write YA so my narrators are self absorbed. And just assuming someone out there is going to want to read your work is egotistical, but I'll drop that since Anthony said it so well above.

    Do the first draft and then look for words that are repeated too many times in revisions/editing.

  7. #7
    maia
    Guest

    Re: today's stupid aphorism:

    what do you mean by 'there'???... use it for what?

  8. #8
    carole kamienski
    Guest

    Re: today's stupid aphorism:

    Although it goes without saying--especially since it's already been said--that repetition is not advised, unless, of course as a literary tool, I still don't think 5 'I's out of twenty paragraphs is so bad. After all, how long are the paragraphs? How many sentences altogether? M. Deschanel asks why so many sentences start with I. But again, we're talking 5 sentences out of 20 paragraphs, not 5 out of twenty sentences.

  9. #9
    carole kamienski
    Guest

    Re: today's stupid aphorism:

    Sorry, Anthony. I'm still working out the kinks. Didn't mean to toss my response in after yours. I could stand up and applaud what you wrote!

  10. #10
    gulliver h
    Guest

    Re: today's stupid aphorism:

    Brandon--this doesn't seem hard. If it's bothering YOU, the writer, then it's a problem. Rewrite the sentences....

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