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  1. #1
    Epy Stolean
    Guest

    We should be reminded

    Stephen King. Some love him, some hate him. Either way, he offers good advice and something every beginner needs to hear. Some experienced writers need to be reminded. That said, enjoy and learn.

    Everything You Need to Know About Writing Successfully

    1. Be talented

    This, of course, is the killer. What is talent? I can hear someone shouting, and here we are, ready to get into a discussion right up there with "what is the meaning of life?" for weighty pronouncements and total uselessness. For the purposes of the beginning writer, talent may as well be defined as eventual success - publication and money. If you wrote something for which someone sent you a check, if you cashed the check and it didn't bounce, and if you then paid the light bill with the money, I consider you talented.

    Now some of you are really hollering. Some of you are calling me one crass money-fixated creep. And some of you are calling me bad names. Are you calling Harold Robbins talented? someone in one of the Great English Departments of America is screeching. V.C. Andrews? Theodore Dreiser? Or what about you, you dyslexic moron?

    Nonsense. Worse than nonsense, off the subject. We're not talking about good or bad here. I'm interested in telling you how to get your stuff published, not in critical judgments of who's good or bad. As a rule the critical judgments come after the check's been spent, anyway. I have my own opinions, but most times I keep them to myself. People who are published steadily and are paid for what they are writing may be either saints or trollops, but they are clearly reaching a great many someones who want what they have. Ergo, they are communicating. Ergo, they are talented. The biggest part of writing successfully is being talented, and in the context of marketing, the only bad writer is one who doesn't get paid. If you're not talented, you won't succeed. And if you're not succeeding, you should know when to quit.
    When is that? I don't know. It's different for each writer. Not after six rejection slips, certainly, nor after sixty. But after six hundred? Maybe. After six thousand? My friend, after six thousand pinks, it's time you tried painting or computer programming.
    Further, almost every aspiring writer knows when he is getting warmer - you start getting little jotted notes on your rejection slips, or personal letters . . . maybe a commiserating phone call. It's lonely out there in the cold, but there are encouraging voices ... unless there is nothing in your words which warrants encouragement. I think you owe it to yourself to skip as much of the self-illusion as possible. If your eyes are open, you'll know which way to go ... or when to turn back.

    2. Be neat

    Type. Double-space. Use a nice heavy white paper, never that erasable onion-skin stuff. If you've marked up your manuscript a lot, do another draft.
    3. Be self-critical
    If you haven't marked up your manuscript a lot, you did a lazy job. Only God gets things right the first time. Don't be a slob.
    4. Remove every extraneous word
    You want to get up on a soapbox and preach? Fine. Get one and try your local park. You want to write for money? Get to the point. And if you remove all the excess garbage and discover you can't find the point, tear up what you wrote and start all over again . . . or try something new.
    5. Never look at a reference book while doing a first draft
    You want to write a story? Fine. Put away your dictionary, your encyclopedias, your World Almanac, and your thesaurus. Better yet, throw your thesaurus into the wastebasket. The only things creepier than a thesaurus are those little paperbacks college students too lazy to read the assigned novels buy around exam time. Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule. You think you might have misspelled a word? O.K., so here is your choice: either look it up in the dictionary, thereby making sure you have it right - and breaking your train of thought and the writer's trance in the bargain - or just spell it phonetically and correct it later. Why not? Did you think it was going to go somewhere? And if you need to know the largest city in Brazil and you find you don't have it in your head, why not write in Miami, or Cleveland? You can check it ... but later. When you sit down to write, write. Don't do anything else except go to the bathroom, and only do that if it absolutely cannot be put off.

    6. Know the markets

    Only a dimwit would send a story about giant vampire bats surrounding a high school to McCall's. Only a dimwit would send a tender story about a mother and daughter making up their differences on Christmas Eve to Playboy ... but people do it all the time. I'm not exaggerating; I have seen such stories in the slush piles of the actual magazines. If you write a good story, why send it out in an ignorant fashion? Would you send your kid out in a snowstorm dressed in Bermuda shorts and a tank top? If you like science fiction, read the magazines. If you want to write confession stories, read the magazines. And so on. It isn't just a matter of knowing what's right for the present story; you can begin to catch on, after awhile, to overall rhythms, editorial likes and dislikes, a magazine's entire slant. Sometimes your reading can influence the next story, and create a sale.

    7. Write to entertain

    Does this mean you can't write "serious fiction"? It does not. Somewhere along the line pernicious critics have invested the American reading and writing public with the idea that entertaining fiction and serious ideas do not overlap. This would have surprised Charles Dickens, not to mention Jane Austen, John Steinbeck, William Faulkner, Bernard Malamud, and hundreds of others. But your serious ideas must always serve your story, not the other way around. I repeat: if you want to preach, get a soapbox.

    8. Ask yourself frequently, "Am I having fun?"

    The answer needn't always be yes. But if it's always no, it's time for a new project or a
    new career.

    9. How to evaluate criticism

    Show your piece to a number of people - ten, let us say. Listen carefully to what they tell you. Smile and nod a lot. Then review what was said very carefully. If your critics are all telling you the same thing about some facet of your story - a plot twist that doesn't work, a character who rings false, stilted narrative, or half a dozen other possibles - change that facet. It doesn't matter if you really liked that twist of that character; if a lot of people are telling you something is wrong with you piece, it is. If seven or eight of them are hitting on that same thing, I'd still suggest changing it. But if everyone - or even most everyone - is criticizing something different, you can safely disregard what all of them say.

    10. Observe all rules for proper submission

    Return postage, self-addressed envelope, all of that.

    11. An agent? Forget it. For now

    Agents get 10% of monies earned by their clients. 10% of nothing is nothing. Agents also have to pay the rent. Beginning writers do not contribute to that or any other necessity of life. Flog your stories around yourself. If you've done a novel, send around query letters to publishers, one by one, and follow up with sample chapters and/or the manuscript complete. And remember Stephen King's First Rule of Writers and Agents, learned by bitter personal experience: You don't need one until you're making enough for someone to steal ... and if you're making that much, you'll be able to take your pick of good agents.

    12. If it's bad, kill it

    When it comes to people, mercy killing is against the law. When it comes to fiction, it is the law.
    That's everything you need to know. And if you listened, you can write everything and anything you want.

  2. #2
    Kitty Foyle
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    8. Ask yourself frequently, "Am I having fun?"

    And to that I would answer, "Hell no!"


    *_*

  3. #3
    Mark Phillips
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    well I'm biased, because Stephen King is my favorite author and On Writing is a brilliant piece of work that lays out all the relevant things you need to know about writing.

    Mark

  4. #4
    Thorp Kozak
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    13. Respect copyrights.

    We should be reminded, indeed.

    TK

  5. #5
    Wonky
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    Yay! Let's plagiarize best-selling writers!

  6. #6
    Kitty Foyle
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    I was waiting for somebody else to mention that.

    Hamish used to "scold" us when we quoted more than a short paragraph (told us to post a link instead), but it looks like he flew the coop.

    There ain't nobody here but us chickens.


    *_*

  7. #7
    Joe Zeff
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    Point 6 may have been good advice at one point, but it's now obsolete. Checking spelling or finding the right synonym in an on-line dictionary/thesaurus doesn't take but a moment and shouldn't break your chain of thought.

    For that matter, all that stuff about what quality of paper is equally obsolete; who composes with a typewriter anymore? I doubt he does, that's for sure!

  8. #8
    Wonky
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    I was thinking the same thing, Joe. I wonder when this was written?

  9. #9
    Epy Stolean
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    "Yay! Let's plagiarize"
    "I was waiting for somebody else to mention that. "

    [b]Yeah! Let's learn to read<b/>

    [b]The FIRST line CLEARLY states<b/>

    Stephen King. Some love him, some hate him. Either way, he offers good advice . . .

    If you can't figure out, by that, the following is a quoted work, then, well, . . . . .

    Joe/Wonky, there is a point with stopping to check spelling or find a better word, and with the paper, I believe that is for editing the m/s not composing. You can't, or should I say, you should not edit on a computer monitor--most writers won't.

  10. #10
    Barbara KE
    Guest

    Re: We should be reminded

    Steven King has never been one of my favorite authors. I really can't comment on his writing but the premise(s) behind his stories never made sense to me.

    Anyway, I disagree with much of his advice. For example, "Any word you have to hunt for in a thesaurus is the wrong word. There are no exceptions to this rule." Heck, I wish more authors would consult a thesaurus on occasion! Most English nouns have perfectly good variations, yet I've seen writing where the author used the word 'pants' five times in one (short) paragraph. How 'bout throwing in a 'trousers' every once in a while. Or 'jeans', 'khakis', or 'tweeds'.

    (Ack, just looked at the clock - have to run.)

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