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  1. #21
    the cat came back
    Guest

    Re: New beginnings...

    I see strikeouts don't work on this board. Pity.

    Not to rub your nose in it or anything, but this guy doesn't do anything until the very end and what does he do? Run away.

    A protagonist has to have a bit of grit, I think.

    Otherwise, how is he going to do anything? (I mean beside run away.)



  2. #22
    new girl
    Guest

    Re: New beginnings...

    'Ha! Thanks Cat for the feedback!

    Well, I was just thinking the other day about a lot of you have said independently. The whole department store thing is probably very unhelpful as I suppose it is already setting the scene in a predominantly female environment - although I did want the character to feel uncomfortable, so i think that was why he is there.

    Also - (and I might raise this in a separate thread) One thing I did have a problem with when writing this character, is that he is not meant to be very nice/admirable/strong. In fact, he is a bit of a selfish/vain/deluded/slacker - until certain things happen and he has find his, y'know, balls. I suppose I don't really know how you go about making deluded character appealing from the outset to readers...

    Anyway, Thanks, you definitely gave me food for thought!

    Kel'

  3. #23
    the cat came back
    Guest

    Re: New beginnings...

    If you want to make a less than admirable character to appeal to the reader, I think the choice of 1st person POV is a good start.

    If he grows testicles later, there has to be some indication earlier that he has the capability.

    And we need some indication of what he wants.

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