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  1. #1
    zeplin 44

    washing machine argument

    “How much is a new washer?” he asks once he is seated.
    “Well, the good one’s are seven to eight hundred,” she says.
    He looks at her as if she were a babbling mental patient.
    “Well, how much are the terrible, awful, really ****ed up one’s?”
    She turns away from him.
    He leans forward, with his elbows resting on his knees, rubs his face with both hands, dragging them down over his forehead, eyes, nose, and cheeks, stretching the skin almost as if he were attempting to rip it from his skull.
    “How ‘bout the Visa?” he inquires of his wife who is also the family bookkeeper.
    “Cain’t use it.”
    “Other Visa?”
    “There’s some left on it, but not enough for a washer.”
    “You mean not enough for a new eight hundred dollar washer?”
    “I mean not enough for even a really ****ed up washer.”
    There, now she has her verbal revenge.

  2. #2
    gulliver h

    Re: washing machine argument

    lose the last line. Implied. Otherwise, I'm amused.

  3. #3
    Denis Bonner

    Re: washing machine argument

    the plural of one is ones not one's

    no comment on the rest

  4. #4

    Re: washing machine argument

    I agree w/ gulliver re/ the last line. Otherwise I like it a lot. I know that is an insipid piece of commentary, but really, it's high praise.

  5. #5
    john palmer

    Re: washing machine argument

    I agree with the above posters, but the build needs to be a little more carefully managed, I think. It kind of jumps to his extreme gestures. I'd like to see more of a build, gesture-wise.

    Or maybe it's just the beer. :-)

    But I like it.

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