HomeWritersLiterary AgentsEditorsPublishersResourcesDiscussion
Forum Login | Join the discussion
+ Reply to Thread
Page 1 of 6 1 2 3 ... LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 54
  1. #1
    Jonathan
    Guest

    Your first lines

    I'm borrowing a page from Maggie Dana (see thread below), but rather than revealing favorite first lines, I thought we could share *our* first lines. This is from my YA WIP, which is about a girl who leaves home to try her success as a rock star.

    My older brother James used to joke that I was "all strung out." He was referring to my fascination with guitars.



  2. #2
    toby
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    Hi, Jonathan.
    Here's mine from a short story I wrote called;
    'FRED MISJUDGED THE TEXTURE OF THE DIRT'

    On cold blue days of spring, all warm summer, and through the colors of fall, my buddies and I played a wonderful game of marbles.
    toby

  3. #3
    Amanda Roper
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    Fantasy novel about a quest. The main character is a girl who was attacked, raped, beaten, and left for dead when she was only about twelve years old. Opening with a dream/memory sequence.


    Deidre fell naked into the ink vat. All around was cold, and wet, and impossibly dark. She was numb, and yet, every nerve sang with pain.

  4. #4
    Patricia Grant
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    Ok, this is from my WIP, a detective novel that takes place in the Chicago area.

    The streets of Glen Ellyn, Illinois were normally quiet around dinner time, when families gathered for their evening meals. Tonight, however, was not a normal night, and flashing red and blue lights pierced the darkness.

  5. #5
    Chuck Bray
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines


    Patricia put two lines. I'll up that one, from my fantasy novel. Chuck

    Molag lifted his gaze from the pale body that lay unconscious at his feet and stared out into the night. Patterns of moon shadows slid silently over the wooded hillside before him as heavy banks of clouds scudded across the sky. Stars appeared, twinkling, handfuls of diamonds cast onto swatches of dusty black satin, only to vanish and then reappear as the clouds raced past.

  6. #6
    Rob Scott
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    The girl listened, eyes closed and mouth open, hearing the rumbling water climb its multi-layered body up the charcoal grey rocks, its varied weight full of minerals and life, laying its essence of the Pacific upon this shore still rough, still ready, ever supporting the right and the wrong walking upon this Western land. She felt that sound full of truth, pure, unpretentious, soothe and calm her as she looked across at the large house looming over those rocks. Protecting? Or menacing? She felt she would never know. But that beach by the rocks below, steady through all the tide's attempts at shifting it, would always hold sure, as true as the rumbling water, and she would never have to ask its intent. This land, you can trust.
    (I'm currently in my rewrite phase, and it's taking longer than I expected... everyone's saying: 'duh! been there, done that!'

  7. #7
    M T
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    I'm going to do something a bit wierd, I'm going to post my first lines of my fiction WIP and then I'm going to edit it. I find that I am able to see more clearly when I look over something I've posted. So....

    Since the burial, Jolene has made a point of visiting the lonely gravesite at least once a week. It is the site itself that calls to her, filling her senses with such longing, she has no other choice but to answer. Putting her current project aside, she hurries across the tangled garden surrounding the century old house that she shares with her husband Joe, through the overgrown hedge where wild blackberry thorns clutch at her clothing and tear her skin. For a moment she waits just within the hedge, peering through the evergreen branches at the crumbling shack next door. After ensuring that the yard is empty, she stumbles through the thigh-high grass and weeds to the forest on the other side.

  8. #8
    M T
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    Since the burial, Jolene has made a point of visiting the lonely gravesite 'lonely gravesite' is a cliche at least once a week. It is the site [b]site is used twice, although it could possibly stay as is. I'm not sure[b] itself that calls to her, filling her senses with such longing,'filling her senses with longing' is a cliche she has no other choice but to answer. Putting her current project aside, she hurries across the tangled garden surrounding the century old house that she shares with her husband Joe, through the overgrown hedge where wild blackberry thorns clutch at her clothing 'clutch at her clothing -- cliche? and tear her skin. For a moment she waits just within the hedge, peering through the evergreen branches at the crumbling shack next door. After ensuring that the yard is empty, she stumbles through the thigh-high grass and weeds to the forest on the other side.

    wierd how that works. Sorry to go off topic. :0)

  9. #9
    M T
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    screwed up my own critique lol. I'll try again after dinner.

  10. #10
    M T
    Guest

    Re: Your first lines

    Since the burial, Jolene has made a point of visiting the lonely gravesite 'lonely gravesite' is a cliche at least once a week. It is the site site is used twice, although it could possibly stay as is. I'm not sure itself that calls to her, filling her senses with such longing,'filling her senses with longing' is a clicheshe has no other choice but to answer. Putting her current project aside, she hurries across the tangled garden surrounding the century old house that she shares with her husband Joe, through the overgrown hedge where wild blackberry thorns clutch at her clothing 'clutch at her clothing -- cliche? and tear her skin. For a moment she waits just within the hedge, peering through the evergreen branches at the crumbling shack next door. After ensuring that the yard is empty, she stumbles through the thigh-high grass and weeds to the forest on the other side.

    Hope it goes better this time. It looked like I was yelling at myself. Here goes nothing....

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts