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  1. #1
    Gregory Robinson
    Guest

    Can't Hurry Love

    "Every breaht you take, every move you make every bond you break every step you take I'll be watchin you"

    Patience. Patience is like a fine intoxicating wine consumed at some party for intellecutals. It penetrates every fiber of my being. it dulls my senses until all those around me merge into one thing swaying and swirling.
    It removes my control of my limbs. My arms go one way and my legs go the opposite. And for some reason, I begin to laugh alot. The last thing i remember is the smell of perfume, the touch of a golden mane, and an intelligible whisper. i consumed six glasses of wine that night and who knows what else.
    i awaken on the morrow, the world upside down. sunlight beaming in through my window stabs at my eyes even though they are concealed tightly under my eyelids. When i remember that i have arms and legs I throw myself over the edge of the bed onto the floor and stagger to my feet. I stumble over to the hotel bathroom stubbing my foot on a nearby chair because my eyes are still half closed. When i enter the bathroom I turn on the light and just as quickly turn it off. I use my remaining senses
    to move in the dark. i step over the border of the bathtub and fumble about to turn on the shower water. It turns on alright and blasts me with a jet stream of cold which creates a mist of cold. I scream like a vampire in the sunlight as i am blasted into an artic statue. It works though. I begin to awaken. The rest of my resurrection ritual consists of breakfast. for that I'll call room service. I reenter my hotel room and sit on the bed next to the phone and as i sit i notice something. The covers rustle and erupt. i turn on the bed light and see a leg begin to emerge from the womb of the covers. it's a soft leg which seems to reflect the light much in the same way light is deflected off of silver. and then a head emerges. a womans head. i freeze not sure what to say. the woman looks up at me, smiles, and says " That was incredible" with the last once of air in her lungs.

    Who am I? I am a writer. I spend my life traveling from town to town, city to city, country to country. i live off of crisants and butter. And the occasional steak and potatoes. i guess i'm like james bond, every new country holds a new mission. My name is legendary. My weapon, my wellinger pen. My gadget, my lap top. I'm not the man who marries you, I'm the man who rescues you.

    PS, I have been asked why women play such a big part in my life. The answer is simple. Women increase my focus during my writing and life. Thankyou for reading and please write e back.



  2. #2
    scribbler2
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    Who ARE you?

    You're odd posts seem to me to be some kind of "showcase" for your writing - you seem less interested in asking for or giving advice than you do in attempting to dazzle us (and potential agents who don't really hang out around here) with your, um, unorthodox prose.

    I know there are no rules for posting around here, and maybe others enjoy your style, if not your contributions. I'm sure I'll get a lot of heat for posting this, as I usually do lately. But I'm truly puzzled by some of the posts around here as of late.

  3. #3
    Gary Kessler
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    Actually, you can hurry love--but there are pills and exercises they'll sell you on the Internet that claim to fix this. :-)

    And I really don't know how you manage to live off those crisants--but I guess you'll be OK as long as you have that last once of air in your lungs.

  4. #4
    Karen Dionne
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    LOL Scribbler! Exactly what I've been wondering, too. I haven't responded to any of Gregory's odd posts because I'm not exactly sure what he's up to!

  5. #5
    julia
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    funny why do men have such low regard for themselves as to want to rescue women.
    Since as many women as men are literary agents, I wonder how that would bode with them?
    Why do men use Sex as a cure all. Is there not a mind located above their shoulders or do they think below their waist? Are men such mindless creatures that they dont mind being deprived of their money for a romp in the hay?
    I have many popup ads of women (they are bimbos too) I find the ads annoying but then they get the job done. They give the man a little action of course he is a fool for sex and he will pay for that action. Yes, he has a wife but the more sex he has the better because of the mind below the waist.
    Good thing I dont use a man for my inspiration to write. I would never write anything.

    Julia

  6. #6
    Gary Kessler
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    Why do you make such sweeping generalizations?

  7. #7
    Lindi Hobbs
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    Dear Gregory,

    Thanks for sharing your work. I'm a novice writer, but happy to share what I can on your work. I'd say your love of writing is obvious, and I envy your enthusiasm.

    As for changes, that's your call, but I can only offer what I think might help.

    "Patience is like a fine intoxicating wine consumed at some party for intellecutals."

    This metaphor is difficult to interpret. How is patience like a fine intoxicating wine consumed at some party for intellectuals? Might want to add some explanation.

    Since this is just a couple paragraphs, a quick spell-check will weed out typos.

    Willaim Zinsser once wrote:

    "You will be impatient to find a "style" - - to embellish your plain words so that readers will recognize you as someone special. You will reach for gaudy similes and tinseled adjectives, as if "style" were something you could buy in a style store at the mall and drape onto your words in bright decorative colors.

    "There is no style store; style is organic to the person doing the writing, as much a part of him as his hair, or lack of it. Trying to add style is like adding a toupee. At first glance the formerly bald man looks young and even handsome. But at second glance - - and with a toupee there's always a second glance - - he doesn't look quite right. The problem is not that he doesn't look well groomed; he does, and we can only admire the wigmaker's skill. The point is that he doesn't look like himself.

    "This is the problem of writers who set out deliberately to garnish their prose. You lose whatever it is that makes you unique. The reader will notice you are putting on airs. He wants the person who is talking to him to sound genuine. Therefore a fundamental rule is: be yourself."

    That pretty much says it all. Hope that helps ~ Lindi

  8. #8
    Roy Abrahams
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Love

    Reading the negative space between lines given too little thought in the writing is often more productive than reading the lines themselves. Unknown to the writer, that is where his/her subconscious lies. And because it is the writer's subconscious, he/she never sees the vividness of the unguarded disclosures. How easily we strip away our disguises to stand naked before our audiences.

  9. #9
    Gregory Robinson
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Lovept2

    I'm sorry everyone for being so clownish. Trully. I am sorry for joking aroudn when this room wasn't created for that. I've spent to much time in chat rooms and not nearly enough time talking to real people. i shall go back to being a serious writer and will no longer write these comedic things. I am trully sorry......

  10. #10
    Lindi Hobbs
    Guest

    Re: Can't Hurry Lovept2

    Welcome to the group, Gregory! Hugs ~ Lindi

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