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  1. #1
    Picture Book
    Guest

    Have I got it yet?

    <font color="#0D1C82">And as I drive, I think about my house, my world,
    my life. And I think about him, the intruder, returning to the house each
    night. A claustrophobic smog envelops me, a complex cloud of resentment,
    dread and guilt. Guilt, because he, the intruder, is my husband.</font>


    </body>



    One too many 'Ands?'



  2. #2
    Bly Oxford
    Guest

    Re: Have I got it yet?

    Yeah, I think I'd omit the 'and' as i drive I think---" Others are going to yell about the second 'and I think' but they don't know how important 'and' is to kid writers who must connect emotions until they are resolved.
    Bly

  3. #3
    Picture Book
    Guest

    OK..Now?!

    I think about my life, my house, my world. And despite my resistance, these thoughts begin to involve him, the intruder. He who returns to the house each night. A claustrophobic smog envelops me, a complex cloud of resentment, dread and guilt. Guilt, because he, the intruder, is my husband.

  4. #4
    Colleen Holt
    Guest

    Re: OK..Now?!

    I like this.

  5. #5
    Yvonne Oots
    Guest

    Re: OK..Now?!

    Pic:
    Now you got it.
    Yvonne

  6. #6
    Pat Cooper
    Guest

    Re: OK..Now?!

    PB
    Stop fiddling with it and move on.

    When you come to edit your whole ms, you will be more objective and will be able to see how it fits in with the rest of the prose.

    Believe me -- words can sometimes obsess the mind and then the fog literally comes down, obliterating not only what you have written and how you read it back, but the whole creative process.

    patC

  7. #7
    Picture Book
    Guest

    HOW do others write?

    Hi Pat

    Yes, I took note of your email and now I am freely, oh so fluidly, writing with total abandon...... )




    Now I'm curious...how do others write? Pencil & paper, keyboard & screen, pen and book?



    I have to write longhand first, in pencil, in a book. (Usually 2-3 chapters at a time.) I transfer this to computer screen and tighten as I go along. Print it, then scribble all over it again. ..and again.Then I move onto the next chapters.

  8. #8
    Yvonne Oots
    Guest

    Re: HOW do others write?

    Picture, I am just like you.. I have to use the pencil and paper first... The problem I have is when I am transfering it to the computer I start editing at the same time.... a bad habit to get into.
    Yvonne

  9. #9
    Ian Barker
    Guest

    Re: HOW do others write?

    Another vote here for writing longhand, then conducting a first edit as I type it up.

    IB

  10. #10
    F Walter
    Guest

    Re: HOW do others write?

    Long hand has always made my wrists hurt. I'd be lost without my keyboard.
    Fran.

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