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  1. #11
    jayce
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    Joe:

    practising?... Really?



  2. #12
    Keith Bouchard
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    I did a little google search and 'practising' is the british spelling. Hm.

  3. #13
    Joe Zeff
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    Well, that's what FireFox's spelling checker said was right.

  4. #14
    Alex Anderson
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    Yep, practising, even plagiarising is right in British English. Weirdness.

    Post your story for free on litpitch.com, promo code literature632

  5. #15
    Keith Bouchard
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    Attn. Mr. Smith:

    In a dark landscape, humans have accepted a more advanced intelligence as ruler.

    James spent his days alone, never one to have friends of his own. Instead, he spent his days locked in his parent's home, practicing his mental powers. One dark evening, his parents receive a mysterious letter from the ruler's son, telling of his father's assassination. The letter wills James and his family a strange necklace, granting the right to rule over the country. For his own protection, James is taken away from his parents who have been his only friends in life, and is placed in an apprenticeship to hone his mind abilites. But here, James soon begins to discover that those in search of the necklace are interested in much more.

    Illumination is a fantasy novel of 107,000 words. I've been writing since before I knew how to hold a pencil, and have spent the past several years studying literature both independently and as a student. Thank you for your time in reading my query letter, and hope that we are able to work together. My finished novel is available upon request

  6. #16
    Jessica McCartney
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    If nothing else, let me just say that it's so refreshing to see someone on this board not take criticism personally, to take the advice given and really improve their work. While we could sit here and pick apart anyone's query for days, the difference between your first and second drafts is immense and really shows that you did some homework.

    So put that feather in your cap and smoke it!

    - jess
    (a mom)

  7. #17
    Keith Bouchard
    Guest

    Re: comments on my query

    Thanks. I've come to realize that criticism is actually meant to help over the years. I used to be completely against any body saying anything about my work, though, which is not very good for literary growth. I posted my the second version of this query in the agents forum, and then near the bottom of everyone's responses, I added one more fixed addition, so we should all probably move over to that thread so we don't have to big ones in two differents forums. Thanks again.

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