Author: Gail Kelley
Date:   01-07-05 23:41

A friend of mine got a rejection letter from someone I think is a fairly big-name agent (although I don't really know big vs. little).

The letter, in spite of being rejecting, had a number of very good suggestions for improving the manuscript.

I wasn't sure I agreed with one of the comments though. The agent noted that she was surprised that there wasn't a sex scene, because that was crucial to a romance novel.

I actually thought the novel was chick-lit rather than romance .... looking-for-Mr.-Right-Chick-lit maybe, but still not romance.

The sex was alluded to, and of course discussed with friends, but no one was shown without their clothes off.

Does there need to be a sex scene in all looking-for-Mr. Right-stories?

Author: Jessica Ann Meade
Date:   01-07-05 23:49

I don't personally read many chick-lit or romance novels, but my mother does. I always tease her about it, and joke that no matter what I always open to a steamy scene. However, most of the romance novels she reads don't have sex in them at all; most of them just deal with meeting mr. right, and falling in love. Obviously the lit. agent who turned your friend down hasn't read many good romance/chick-lit. novels lately.

Author: Robert Raven
Date:   01-08-05 00:13

It helps sometimes.

Oh . . . were we talking about writing?

RR

Author: Tim
Date:   01-08-05 02:54

"Obviously the lit. agent who turned your friend down hasn't read many good romance/chick-lit. novels lately."

And hasn't gotten layed in a while either =P. I've never read a sex scene in my life, which I think is a good thing...Isn't it? Either way I tend to steer clear of that kind of crap...my sister on the otherhand. Why she could be reading this kind of filth right now.

*gathers bible and rosary* Damn kids and their porno on paper.

Author: Koen Dieriks
Date:   01-08-05 04:41

I read a lot of novels and the best ones don't have sex scene's. But there is always the atmosphere with sexual tension I think. And sometimes it isn't written but you know it happened. And I like that where it isn't explicit but you know that it has happened.
But it is a very stupid opinion in my eyes that a book needs sex. Or better that a romance needs sex.
A writer writes what he feels is right in the story. If sex doesn't come up in his vision of the story he shouldn't write sex.
I don't insert it because I am not good at writing it and like I said I rather have it implicit.

Author: Constantia Durham
Date:   01-08-05 07:49

I've always thought that books have much more potential for sexiness when there's no sex in them.

I don't need to see Mr Darcy nude to fall in love with him... *sigh*

Author: the original me
Date:   01-08-05 08:35

I admit that this could be a sign of immaturity on my part, but I usually end up cracking up and laughing myself to tears whenever I get to a steamy sex scene anyway. I've never read one that didn't feel silly to me.

Author: Gail Kelley
Date:   01-08-05 08:44

Well, I guess the reason I asked is I am trying to figure out if I need to add a sex scene to MY so-called manuscript, and if so, what would be a good one to copy ...

Author: Anya
Date:   01-08-05 09:17

I wouldn't add one solely on the basis of one agent's comment. Not every Looking-for-Mr.-Right book needs a sex scene.

My agent's take on sex in books: "No one wants to see their friends in bed."

Author: Sarah H.
Date:   01-08-05 11:06

Of course it isn't. But I enjoy reading a little sizzle now and again. I don't like reading gynecological sex scenes. I enjoy love scenes that build tension and give you a taste but not an entire meal. 'Stein on writing' has a particularly good chapter on love scenes. It's worth looking at.

Author: Daria Wells
Date:   01-08-05 12:45

I don't think it's necessary at all, BUT...I just finished writing my first love scene and even if I decide to totally cut it out down the editing road, it was worth stretching my writing boundaries to do it.

There are also allusions to it later that wouldn't be as powerful were the scene not in there.

Author: Nicole Bailey
Date:   01-08-05 13:02

NO! I write chick lit as well, and have read tons of it. Very few chick lit books have sex scenes. The focus is usually on the drama around the relationship, not the act itself. :) Some people love to write them, and those are the folks who should have them in their stories. You should never add one, because you think it should be there. It doesn't have to. And I agree with what others have said, the tension of the potential relationship is what is compelling, not the sex itself. It all depends on how it is handled too, and who is writing it. Some people do it really well, and it works. But if you are shying away from it, then that is your answer, don't force it.

Author: Mya Bell
Date:   01-08-05 13:50

I don't think sex scenes are necessary to sell a book--even a romance book. In fact, I think there's a pretty big audience for books that don't have sex scenes. Some people prefer not to read them.

However, quite a few agents, editors, and publishing execs seem to think they are important. I don't know if it's because they are privvy to sales figures we don't have as writers or simply because of conditioned expectations.

Either way, writers experience many of the same pressures as rock stars. One of my favorite singers recently said in interviews that she's being pressured to be "sexier," despite the fact that she made it to the top without using nudity to sell her songs. Now she's walking a tightrope, trying to find artistic ways to deal with the pressure without totally selling out.

It's not easy to deal with this pressure if you are uncomfortable with writing sex scenes or if they simply aren't appropriate for your story. The movie "Driving Miss Daisy" had no sex scenes, yet was a powerfully moving human emotional drama and very successful.

I think about this question a lot in terms of my own fiction writing. Some of my stories have sex scenes and some don't. In general, many short stories describe explicit sexual themes--literary review magazines are fairly liberal in their overall judgment of good writing and if sex is part of the story that many of them are comfortable with publishing it.

None of the short stories I've had published so far have sex scenes, but many of them express strong emotional and sometimes sexual longings.

Some of my novels-in-progress do have sex scenes. Long stories often delve deeper into character analysis than short stories, so it makes sense that more intimate aspects of people's lives are revealed.

I try to let the point of the story dictate the need and then find appropriate, honest ways to express this part of human relationships.

If your friend is not comfortable with writing a sex scene or feels it's not right for the story, she probably shouldn't include one. There are millions of great books that don't have explicit sexual references and they will continue to be published for a long time.

--- Mya Bell

Author: Terri D
Date:   01-08-05 17:35

As you can see this is a highly "either-or" subject and quite subjective. So, here's my two cents.....

As a reader, I enjoy the sex scenes in the book, as long as they belong there and aren't just gratuitious. After going through the ups and downs with the characters trying to get together...hell yeah I want to see them together. (just like I would in a movie...and no, I'm not talking porno.)

I write romance and I write love scenes. They aren't sex scenes....they are love scenes, because it's a romance aka love story. And imo, it's essential and satisfying for the reader to know the characters they've 'bonded' with have that intimate connection.

Maybe the agent who read the book felt as though you'd built up to that point of a climax without said climax.

Now, not all agents tend to know what they're talking about in terms of what a story needs...but if you have more than one agent telling you the same thing....maybe it's time to rethink.

Good luck,

Terri

Author: leslee
Date:   01-08-05 21:31

I write sex scenes. Lots of them. If my book ever gets published, you'll see what I mean.

A sex scene in a novel should make the reader hot. Most sex scenes are so poorly written they're embarassing. If you can't write them well, leave them out. Have your characters cuddle or swoon, but don't add a boring sex scene to your book. It won't help.

Author: Tulsidas Ramayan
Date:   01-09-05 07:15

I am age 56 and writing my first (and perhaps only and last book) at http://toosmallforsupernova.org

I grew up on a steady diet of the so-called "100 Great Books" at St. John's, Annapolis, and then spent many years reading and writing about books on philosophy and theology. One finds few sex scenes in such reading.

What I have written so far in my own attempt at a book has to do with ideas and mentions sex only in passing.

I have become recently become interested in Milan Kundera, "The Art of Writing" and also "The Unbearable Lightness of Being." I admire his philosophical ideas, but he seems preoccupied with sex, and some of the sex seems rather far-fetched, such as a married man whose mistress demands that he make love to her with his forehead, and he always scrupluously bathes himself afterwards (but he somehow totally forgets about his hair?!) so finally after months his wife confronts him with the fact that his hair always has a certain tell-tale odor. The whole thing seems so far-fetched and contrived.
Also, apparently the bowler hat depicted on the cover of his "Unbearable Lightness of Being" comes from some scene where a lady grabs her lovers hat, holds it over her head, squats on the toilet.... (well, I wont finish this sentence... but as soon as I post, I am going to look up this bowler hat scene.)


Anyway, I like the idea of writing books that do not discuss sex. ON THE OTHER HAND, another part of my writing is autobiographical. I want to try and put down things that I actually experienced in my life, especially in my childhood. I want to write about sexual experiences, thoughts, feelings, fears, desires in a very candid way. It seems important to me to do this exercise.
You may seen an example of this autobiographical writing at

http://toosmallforsupernova.org/fromtheauthor.htm


I try to write in good taste.

I realize that this thread is specifically questioning the necessity for sex scenes in a certain genre of popular fiction intended for women readers. I am male, but I guess I would agree that many women I have known would prefer fiction which is romantic, and suggestive, but not explicit. But since the topic of writing about sex is on my mind, I thought I would post.

If I do proceed to write down all of my lifetime thoughts and experiences about sex, I would not care to be seen as a pornographer for so doing, but I am sure there would be many people who would consider it some kind of abnormality or obsession. Yet that part of my life has great meaning for me. It is something that I want to better understand. I would like to make it possible for others who come after me to understand that there was someone who thought and felt as I did.

I suppose the keyword in all this is "ambivalence". I both want to and do not want to write about and read about sex. I do not want to be a sexual being, but I am a sexual being. I lot of the power and raw energy of sexuality flows from that very abivalence. I am inexperienced and I want to remain pure, but I am curious, and suddenly, here we are, we have crossed a line, crossed a boundary, we have stopped the pretense, no one can see us, no one will know if we never tell, but now, I am breaking all the rules, I am taking courage and doing what is forbidden, naughty.

Well, I shall post now, and perhaps go off and write some more.

Author: Gibby
Date:   01-10-05 03:30

Hey Koen, if you don't feel like inserting it, then of course, go without the sex (scene).

Author: Charlie KiinbOte
Date:   01-10-05 05:19

Tulsidas,

Ambivalence is good. Ambivalence can create tension, and is to be prized in works of art. Hence Kundera. The Unbareable Lightness of Being is all about ambivalence: it's a work of art; it's not supposed to be explained away, reduced to a doctrine, or 'solved' like a puzzle.

CK

Author: Victoise C.
Date:   01-18-05 16:08

Interesting... if it's not too late ha

I certainly wouldn't stick a sex scene in because some agent suggested it (unless they promised to publish it). I would take out some of my sex scenes though. In London, every year they give an award to The Worst Sex Scene written and they have one hilarious time at that ceremony.

If you don't feel like writing sex scenes, I think you should remain true to your desire. It's a taste thing, do you like to read them? If you like to read them, you might find the challenge interesting... they are hard. I like to write them (being Czech like Milan Kundera, Czechs LOVE sex).
But I always try to be a bit tasteful, except WHEN MY CHARACTER LOSES IT as happened in a certain
C--t rant during a fight my two charactes were having.

! Vict.