Re: Query Critique, 3rd Attempt : Writers Net Discussion Forum

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Re: Query Critique, 3rd Attempt

Author: Greg Kosson
Date: 11-05-09 23:29

I'm finding it a little overwritten still. If you stick to telling the story and not commenting on it, you'll have a better query.

Phrases such as "fatal night" and "rip them apart" are too generic and unoriginal to carry the weight a query has to bear.

Don't misuse ellipsis! That alone can sink you. See Webster's Pocket Style Guide.

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