Author: dream catcher
Date:   11-01-09 22:32

This is my first attempt with a query for this manuscript. I'm not really happy with the hook, it just looks bland to me. Any feedback is appreciated, and I thank you in advance.

November 1, 2009

Dear Agent,

Elsie Montoyage has always dreamed about finding someone who could touch her heart. Upon finding him, she realizes that’s all he can touch.


Abused and left for dead by her father at the age of ten, Elsie, is now seventeen and living with her foster parents. Her foster sister Chelsea, who she considers her twin soul, gives her a reason to carry on, because her past is just as traumatic. But her world is shattered the moment she becomes the victim of a horrible accident. She awakens in the hospital, only to find out that she has survived the three-car collision, and Chelsea had perished. With nothing left to hold onto, she decides to let go. That is, until Aiden Prescott materializes in her bathroom, terminating her plan to join Chelsea in the afterlife.

He gives her the will to live again, mysteriously holds the ability to open her up -- when everyone else has failed -- and a reason for her to fight the nightmares in her head of that horrific night. As she starts to fall completely and overwhelmingly in love with him, she desires nothing more than the simple touch of his hand, and that’s impossible. Aiden is transparent, only Elsie can see him, and every time he tries to reach out to her, his touch goes right through her. But somewhere he is alive and breathing, just like her, and the only way she can uncover the truth about who, or what he is, is by facing the very thing she fears, the accident. If she fails, Aiden may disappear forever.

THEN THERE WAS YOU is a 82,000-word y/a romance, which takes readers away from ghosts, vampires, and werewolves, leading them towards the possibilities of astral projection. Even though it is not yet proven scientifically, many people believe they have and can experience this strange phenomena.

I am certified in Reiki Level One, and I have been attuned to the Usui System Of Natural Healing. My training includes exercises, such as meditation, on how to see and feel the energy around me, and I applied this knowledge into my manuscript.

If you are interested in the full manuscript, it is available at your request. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,