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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 02:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,996
    08-24-2011, 02:34 PM Go to last post
  1. Not sure what to make of it...

    Her intuition sounded something wasn't right. Six minutes till six -- It sounded again. Tristan Isolde Nasari relaxed her tortured gaze into...

    Started by Author Pendragin‎, 01-15-2011 02:59 PM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 37
    • Views: 11,895
    01-17-2011, 09:38 AM Go to last post
  2. thoughts on paragraph please

    Azrael stood over the corpse of Grant Thompson. The car that had served as his weapon had stopped initially, but panic-stricken by the severity of...

    Started by jay walker‎, 01-21-2011 04:40 AM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 35
    • Views: 11,773
    02-07-2011, 06:19 AM Go to last post
  3. Elemental Touch: The Guardians of Magic (revised prologue)

    Alright, I re-read this and took some of the advise I got to heart and cut it down by about 200 words, bringing it to a single page, and also...

    Started by Jonathan Nichols‎, 07-28-2011 12:00 PM
    5 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 5
    • Replies: 41
    • Views: 11,659
    07-31-2011, 08:30 PM Go to last post
  4. Hollar Dollar - REVISED

    If you aren't sick of me yet, would you mind looking over the revised version? I've been adding in all the amazing suggestions I received and wanted...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 06-22-2011 07:27 PM
    5 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 5
    • Replies: 48
    • Views: 11,179
    06-30-2011, 09:15 PM Go to last post
  5. opening paragraph

    Chapter 1 Azrael levitated above the shrivelled ninety year old body of Mrs Wakelin and watched her exhale her final breath. He waited patiently for...

    Started by jay walker‎, 01-12-2011 03:12 AM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 21
    • Views: 10,938
    01-16-2011, 02:27 AM Go to last post
  6. Scene 1

    I can't remember the last time I posted something in here, so here's the opening scene of my latest story. There's probably some bad language in...

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 02-19-2015 11:24 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 17
    • Views: 10,766
    03-17-2015, 03:34 PM Go to last post
  7. WIP (Sunstone Chronicles for now), Prologue

    Hi all, been a while since I posted. I'm trying to work up some creative energy to continue working on increasing my writing volume since my...

    Started by John Chritton‎, 09-16-2011 03:08 PM
    6 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 6
    • Replies: 56
    • Views: 10,755
    09-28-2011, 12:17 PM Go to last post
  8. Flashback Scene~chapter 1

    This is the second scene in my first chapter, right after Gavin leaves. It's a flashback, and I've heard some bad things about doing this. Is this...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 10-08-2011 09:32 PM
    7 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 7
    • Replies: 60
    • Views: 10,724
    10-16-2011, 03:12 PM Go to last post
  9. 1st paragraph of my new book.

    135th Berkley Lane, Adel Iowa, had sat virtually untouched for the last decade. Once a proud manor house it now sat lonely and abandoned. The...

    Started by AC_Corran‎, 02-25-2012 10:55 PM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 38
    • Views: 10,694
    02-29-2012, 10:01 PM Go to last post
  10. Beginning of Ch 1

    She rises as she often does, before the sun. Turning restlessly in her bed, snatches of strange dreams drifting away as consciousness drifts in. Her...

    Started by Megan McCook‎, 08-31-2011 06:20 AM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 31
    • Views: 10,547
    09-01-2011, 05:52 PM Go to last post
  11. Wanring: Sexual/violent material in this post. Dark Erotica. Part 2

    This is part two to the first post. It is the rest of the chapter. Like I said earlier I know it isn't perfect and needs to be edited. Let me know so...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 01-29-2011 10:53 AM
    7 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 7
    • Replies: 64
    • Views: 10,521
    02-02-2011, 09:43 AM Go to last post
  12. Opinions, please, for my novel's beginning

    I haven't looked at this revised beginning in a while. I've been revising the whole novel and am now into 160, 170 pages. I changed the name from...

    Started by Claire Young‎, 10-09-2011 04:23 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 20
    • Views: 10,480
    10-15-2011, 05:43 PM Go to last post
  13. Exclamation Take a Look at the Changes I've Made?

    I changed the title and I made a few changes to the description. Would you mind taking a look? Just go to: https://www.createspace.com/5692714

    Started by Mr. Michael Live‎, 08-22-2015 10:17 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 10,365
    08-26-2015, 10:25 AM Go to last post
  14. Cool THE SIEGE OF EREMUS (YA Fantasy)

    Hey guys! I was wondering if you could take a look at the intro of my manuscript here and critique it. IT WILL BE SPLIT INTO TWO POSTS. THE NEXT...

    Started by RVS‎, 09-27-2016 06:36 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    fantasy, youth adult
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 10,331
    09-27-2016, 02:58 PM Go to last post
  15. Cool Another Chance: Long Exceprt

    This is a long excerpt, about 2000 words. But what else do you have to do here on Sunday? I think the start is a little too much of an info dump. ...

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 04-25-2015 10:05 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    awesomesauce
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 10,321
    05-02-2015, 09:56 PM Go to last post
  16. Why You Should Proofread

    http://news.yahoo.com/colonel-sanders-secret-manuscript-revealed-201211341.html Here's a good example of why we always encourage writers to read...

    Started by leslee‎, 11-10-2011 07:25 PM
    6 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 6
    • Replies: 53
    • Views: 10,160
    11-16-2011, 11:37 AM Go to last post
  17. White Chocolate Mocha - REVISED

    Hey, I'm back. I've worked on this all weekend and I want to know if this is better or have I made it worse. I've added some to it and hopefully...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 08-07-2011 06:26 PM
    6 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 6
    • Replies: 50
    • Views: 10,150
    08-21-2011, 05:18 AM Go to last post
  18. Story "Elma's Garbage Can" by A. Martin.

    This short story, Elma's Garbage Can is soon set to be submitted to a fiction publication. Feel free to critique and comment! ...

    Started by Horrorone82‎, 04-13-2015 09:30 AM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    gore, horror, science fiction, suspense
    • Replies: 20
    • Views: 9,954
    05-06-2015, 03:27 PM Go to last post
  19. My name is Gonzo. Please critique, but go to hell if you pick me up on anything!

    Stayed in a red light hotel full of Russian beauties, got nightmare flashbacks. They made me into a hotel in my mind. I became, Russian...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 10-10-2011 02:14 PM
    6 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 6
    • Replies: 56
    • Views: 9,947
    10-14-2011, 03:17 PM Go to last post
  20. Short Story...D.A.V.I.D.

    Here is part of a short piece I whipped up the other day. Thank you for your critiques on the story. ...

    Started by Micheal Woodruff‎, 10-19-2011 02:19 AM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 30
    • Views: 9,879
    10-26-2011, 07:13 PM Go to last post

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