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Forum: Writing Critique

Only registered members can read and respond to posts in this forum. Post writing samples here, for a private reading.

  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 02:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,866
    08-24-2011, 02:34 PM Go to last post
  1. Smile A relatively short novel excerpt. Modern Fantasy/Sci-fi.

    Any and all thoughts are more than welcome. I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it. It should be noted, however, that...

    Started by Don Mcfarland‎, 07-31-2011 06:38 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,992
    08-01-2011, 12:00 PM Go to last post
  2. A Rocky Start

    *** I couldnít believe how scared I was. By that I mean jesus **** Iím sweating too much. I could have worn shorts, but Iím sure thereís some code of...

    Started by platonicpanda‎, 07-29-2015 07:38 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 2,793
    08-02-2015, 09:38 PM Go to last post
  3. A sample from chapter 1, please critique

    The winter sun filtered through the grey clouds, illuminating the patches of compressed snow that still hadn't melted. The ice layered the pavement...

    Started by Chimere Mba‎, 01-30-2011 08:21 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 2,398
    01-31-2011, 05:37 PM Go to last post
  4. A Scene

    Hereís a scene: It is a bright sunny afternoon. The sun is shining so fervently that by looking at the lake, it will hurt your eyes. The water...

    Started by Philip Lee‎, 02-05-2011 07:28 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 2,248
    02-07-2011, 06:25 AM Go to last post
  5. A scene (YA fantasy)

    Okay, so this scene involves an instance in which one character enters the other's mind, but I keep messing it up. I must have rewritten this seven...

    Started by Delany Sierra Sierra‎, 02-10-2011 02:20 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,398
    02-10-2011, 06:17 PM Go to last post
  6. A short short from long long ago

    A short short from long long ago. Take it apart if you want or just read. Wrote this years back, inspired by something I witnessed when about...

    Started by James North‎, 05-10-2011 01:03 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 2,801
    05-17-2011, 08:15 AM Go to last post
  7. A snippet of a short story I am currently messing with. All comments are welcome.

    The beginning of a short story. Would love some feedback for anyone who likes reading a bit of fantasy. Thanks Beldam The withered crone let the...

    Started by Susan‎, 06-12-2015 05:30 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    suswelling8@yahoo.com.au
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 4,309
    06-20-2015, 03:08 AM Go to last post
  8. Poll Poll: A Strange Man- Introduction/ Rough Draft

    Looking forward to any advice and thoughts, Thank you. Chapter 1 The world fears Andrew Collins, and Andrew Collins fears the world. He has no...

    Started by Max Cooper‎, 05-09-2012 10:34 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,796
    05-10-2012, 02:44 PM Go to last post
  9. Aliens, Inc. feedback request

    Aliens, Incorporated is a YASF novel about first contact. Iím thinking about using this as a prologue, or perhaps a first chapter. Any help would be...

    Started by n.p.doeleman‎, 04-04-2014 02:06 PM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 4,566
    04-07-2014, 11:43 AM Go to last post
  10. Aliens, Inc. second try.

    Attempting rewrite of Ch 1 and welcoming all criticism. Is this any better for an opening? With his chair tilted back and his feet propped up...

    Started by n.p.doeleman‎, 04-06-2014 11:12 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 13,394
    07-23-2014, 10:06 AM Go to last post
  11. Also Split from Fat Cat Thread

    Author, you open with "It seems to me that everyone loves to jump on the "he's going down, let's throw some dirt on him" wagon." It's never you, is...

    Started by Smiling Curmudgeon‎, 02-15-2011 07:47 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 25
    • Views: 3,486
    02-20-2011, 04:58 PM Go to last post
  12. An action scene which is grating on my nerves

    I took the comments about post length deeply to heart. Raven suggested no more than 1000, so this one is about 600 words. This scene ends a car...

    Started by Oisin Ni Bhaoill‎, 01-27-2011 05:58 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 1,531
    05-01-2011, 12:40 PM Go to last post
  13. An excerpt - no title yet

    As we can have a maximum of 1000 words, I will post an excerpt for feedback. I will try hard not to cry....promise. I know there is awkward dialogue,...

    Started by Davana‎, 08-07-2014 01:24 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 7,925
    08-11-2014, 04:09 AM Go to last post
  14. Another Another Chance Beginning

    I thought it'd be nice to write an opening that lets my con man character actually con someone out of their hard-earned money. Maybe you'll like it....

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 06-13-2015 07:10 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,669
    06-14-2015, 07:31 PM Go to last post
  15. Cool Another Chance: Long Exceprt

    This is a long excerpt, about 2000 words. But what else do you have to do here on Sunday? I think the start is a little too much of an info dump. ...

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 04-25-2015 10:05 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    awesomesauce
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 9,039
    05-02-2015, 09:56 PM Go to last post
  16. Lightbulb Another Chance: New Beginning

    I rewrote the beginning to make it maybe less info-dumpy. What do you think?:confused: # I know there’s something big going on when Wally asks...

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 05-06-2015 05:12 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 6,094
    05-09-2015, 07:26 AM Go to last post
  17. Another excerpt--Your critiques are really helping me.

    Susan Wenke worked for Dreamgirls-To-Go. At home, she had a six and a four year old to feed. *Her boys stayed at home with her mom, while she went...

    Started by greg winick‎, 12-30-2011 04:31 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 1,440
    01-01-2012, 03:37 AM Go to last post
  18. Another go?

    What do you think of this one, then? Scent of Victory The lift at the local car park is forever breaking down so I don't know what possessed me...

    Started by imported_Bella Warren‎, 04-06-2011 03:45 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 20
    • Views: 4,589
    04-09-2011, 12:41 AM Go to last post
  19. Another Scene for Critique

    Somehow, I just can't help coming back here when I'm dissatisfied with a piece of writing and my own mind is on the fritz. Your feedback is always...

    Started by Oisin Ni Bhaoill‎, 03-03-2011 08:35 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 2,740
    05-05-2011, 08:45 AM Go to last post
  20. Another Scene, a Fight Scene

    Hand-to-hand combat is tough to write. Well, at least its tough for me, so I've brought it here to be punched up itself. Thanks in advance. ...

    Started by Oisin Ni Bhaoill‎, 01-30-2011 01:46 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,083
    01-31-2011, 07:52 PM Go to last post

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