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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 02:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,930
    08-24-2011, 02:34 PM Go to last post
  1. In need of criticism

    I am new writer, which you may be able to tell by this excerpt from my prologue, that is in need of a critique. No one has read any of it at this...

    Started by James Davis‎, 02-02-2011 12:42 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 1,510
    02-07-2011, 11:30 PM Go to last post
  2. Old Ladies Revised. Contains foul language

    Here is The Old Lady Diaries revised. I am coming up with a new title. Pendragin, I added your book suggestion to my book list. I hope I did better...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 02-05-2011 07:48 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 26
    • Views: 3,582
    02-08-2011, 12:44 AM Go to last post
  3. Bluffers

    Below is the first, short chapter of a novella I've written called 'Bluffers'. Would anyone read further, given this as the book's opening? Cheers. ...

    Started by Matthew Robinson‎, 02-07-2011 03:09 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 3,162
    02-08-2011, 10:20 AM Go to last post
  4. White Mocha Opening Scene - Critique

    Some of you have helped me so much with this. I wanted to repost because I have changed the opening of my first chapter to begin with the card and...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-08-2011 06:32 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 14
    • Views: 2,770
    02-09-2011, 08:03 AM Go to last post
  5. MG, 1st 5p-looksee would be GR8

    This is a MG novel i'm working right now. Cross between a Junie B. Jones and Twilight. (Sorry, Vampires ahead). Would appreciate any feedback...

    Started by Avonne Writer‎, 02-08-2011 10:50 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,879
    02-09-2011, 08:24 AM Go to last post
  6. A scene (YA fantasy)

    Okay, so this scene involves an instance in which one character enters the other's mind, but I keep messing it up. I must have rewritten this seven...

    Started by Delany Sierra Sierra‎, 02-10-2011 02:20 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,414
    02-10-2011, 06:17 PM Go to last post
  7. UK based Short Story

    This is a short story I drafted myself whilst bored on a bb...please criticise/praise/donate (that was a joke) Also I would be grateful if...

    Started by Ian Francis‎, 02-04-2011 08:31 AM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 37
    • Views: 10,731
    02-11-2011, 05:40 AM Go to last post
  8. Opening of my Young Adult Fantasy-Thriller

    This is the first four pages of the opening chapter of the second draft of my Young Adult Fantasy-Thriller novel. It is book one of three, and I am...

    Started by Cory Warren‎, 02-08-2011 01:06 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 17
    • Views: 7,334
    02-11-2011, 08:50 AM Go to last post
  9. Can I bother you with another fragment?:)

    I tried to implement all the great advice I've received here previously, cutting those sentences on and on, trying to simplify. I'm afraid it's...

    Started by Zoe Saadia‎, 02-11-2011 12:34 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 2,301
    02-11-2011, 01:09 PM Go to last post
  10. Does this make sense?

    Below is a scene from a novel I'm working on but I'm having trouble believing in some of the dialogue. Can anyone clarify? Aviram Greenberg’s...

    Started by john wirral‎, 02-11-2011 10:51 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,516
    02-12-2011, 06:40 AM Go to last post
  11. Is this better? MG, vampire alert

    I ask: Does this make you want to read more? This is a MG novel. Thanks for any feedback. (It's about an imperfect vampire--coming of age story)...

    Started by Avonne Writer‎, 02-10-2011 12:31 AM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 29
    • Views: 4,567
    02-12-2011, 01:22 PM Go to last post
  12. Fat Cat Syndrome - Critique

    This is my opening scene for a novel I've written about the Fat Cat preachers in churches. I was hoping for a critique on this, to see if it's...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-11-2011 07:02 PM
    7 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 7
    • Replies: 63
    • Views: 13,422
    02-16-2011, 05:48 AM Go to last post
  13. Daring the gauntlet

    After what happened on the last post, I needed a few belts of a good Merlot before venturing to run the gauntlet. This is a revision to an earlier...

    Started by Julie Harris‎, 02-14-2011 02:38 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 27
    • Views: 2,767
    02-16-2011, 06:51 AM Go to last post
  14. The Great Turbulence and Malcontent of Brimley Tinderbuss

    I, Brimly Tinderbuss, am not dismayed by the Kings new order or surprised by the populaces quiet acceptance of it. I am mortified by the meaning of...

    Started by Tobias Garrett‎, 02-07-2011 11:09 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 16
    • Views: 1,956
    02-16-2011, 07:22 AM Go to last post
  15. Split from Fat Cat Syndrome Thread

    @Victoria, If you examine each of my posts you can easily see some relation to the author's original thread. @Leslee, My point as it...

    Started by Author Pendragin‎, 02-15-2011 08:34 AM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,687
    02-16-2011, 06:29 PM Go to last post
  16. Is this better as flash fiction? or prose format? or just as it is? It's inspired by Frank, but by no means attached

    (He’s in the trees. He’s!) Make a meal of them insects, Mr. Pike. You dee shark o’ the still. I want to see you move, that flash of silver, ...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-17-2011 02:02 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 974
    02-19-2011, 10:20 AM Go to last post
  17. Opening Scene, does it captivate? or irritate? Violence warning...

    Hi everyone, hope you all are well. I have been hacking away at my opening scene, removing unneeded adjectives, sentences and whatnot. Throwing in...

    Started by Miranda Clementine‎, 02-17-2011 09:33 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 2,736
    02-19-2011, 10:13 PM Go to last post
  18. Murder Scene

    It's disturbing (at least to me), but is it chilling? “You’re the envoy?” she whispered, disbelieving. He nodded, keeping his face to the...

    Started by Delany Sierra Sierra‎, 02-18-2011 08:55 PM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 3,916
    02-20-2011, 01:12 PM Go to last post
  19. Also Split from Fat Cat Thread

    Author, you open with "It seems to me that everyone loves to jump on the "he's going down, let's throw some dirt on him" wagon." It's never you, is...

    Started by Smiling Curmudgeon‎, 02-15-2011 07:47 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 25
    • Views: 3,507
    02-20-2011, 04:58 PM Go to last post
  20. Just Write

    May I suggest that even the published writers on here post new ditties and suchlike... bad or good, it can only make you stronger and is more...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-19-2011 02:15 AM
    5 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 5
    • Replies: 47
    • Views: 7,732
    02-20-2011, 07:14 PM Go to last post

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