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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 01:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 18,995
    08-24-2011, 01:34 PM Go to last post
  1. Please give me your thoughts - Nonexistent chapter 1 concluded

    Pulling into the parking lot, Peter was taken back to the early days of the business. Hammond Lock & Key began as a small locksmith business. It was...

    Started by GPickstock‎, 01-20-2016 02:12 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 4,778
    01-20-2016, 02:12 PM Go to last post
  2. Hunted

    Hunted Chapter 1 ...

    Started by Tobias Garrett‎, 01-19-2016 02:37 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 6,068
    01-19-2016, 02:33 PM Go to last post
  3. Please give me your thoughts 2

    Here are the next couple of pages. Be aware - the language is a bit salty. Chapter 1 Confusion cont'd. The evolution of the Universal...

    Started by GPickstock‎, 01-16-2016 12:48 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 13,230
    01-19-2016, 02:15 PM Go to last post
  4. Please give me your thoughts

    I would like some feedback on the following excerpt from my novel. Your honest opinion is important to me, Thank you. Chapter 1 - Confusion ...

    Started by GPickstock‎, 01-15-2016 01:24 PM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 4,860
    01-18-2016, 12:02 PM Go to last post
  5. Please give me your thoughts Chapter 1 Revised continued

    Chapter 1 revised continued ***** Casey was scared. He didn’t know what had just happened but he knew it was bad. “Damn you Jim why weren’t...

    Started by GPickstock‎, 01-17-2016 05:52 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 3,685
    01-17-2016, 05:52 AM Go to last post
  6. A flash fiction - Circle

    I don't usually do flash. I am more of a novel and short story gal! But this was for a contest and it didn't place. Might be because it is crap......

    Started by Debbi V‎, 12-29-2015 01:07 AM
    6 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 6
    • Replies: 55
    • Views: 29,320
    01-10-2016, 08:05 PM Go to last post
  7. Excerpt-Riding Elephants: Diary of the Memory Keepers

    Mom was desperate to be with my dad regardless of what that looked like. He didn’t live with us, of course, but I assume he felt he had fulfilled...

    Started by jenc0x‎, 01-09-2016 01:42 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,500
    01-10-2016, 02:01 PM Go to last post
  8. Space

    Space Chapter 1 Milikos Drift I stared at Keo's eyes. So crystal clear, I could see the tiny blood vessels spreading out like broken spider...

    Started by Tobias Garrett‎, 01-24-2015 07:56 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    sci-fi, space
    • Replies: 18
    • Views: 13,659
    01-10-2016, 12:32 PM Go to last post
  9. Second Person

    For the heck of it I decided to write a story in second-person (you instead of I or he/she). You think it's too weird or what? The thirtieth...

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 11-14-2015 01:44 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 3,103
    01-09-2016, 02:07 PM Go to last post
  10. Sample of memoir

    This is an excerpt from my memoir on the Iraq war. It hasn't been edited or revised, and there are possibly some bad sentence structures and what...

    Started by L.Benton‎, 11-19-2015 01:46 AM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 4,731
    01-09-2016, 01:34 PM Go to last post
  11. Post To Scary for Kids ? No harm in scaring kids half to death now and then is there?

    This is nearing completion. I think just minor tweaks here and there in light of feedback. It is conceived as an illustrated story to be read aloud....

    Started by Trug‎, 01-02-2016 01:25 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 6,834
    01-05-2016, 03:40 PM Go to last post
  12. Worth continuing?

    I'm messing around with starting a comedy fantasy. What do people think? Worth continuing? This is, of course, simply first draft.

    Started by msknight‎, 10-07-2015 02:07 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 18
    • Views: 7,406
    12-29-2015, 12:34 PM Go to last post
  13. Post The Black Ship of Valutia

    I am trying to get the hang of this ‘show don’t just tell’ thing. I started this Fantasy/Y.A. piece the other day and I am wondering if I am...

    Started by Isabella du Lac‎, 10-22-2015 06:58 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    critique, fantasy, magic, show not tell, young adult
    • Replies: 28
    • Views: 14,681
    11-15-2015, 12:02 PM Go to last post
  14. Question about credits

    I apologize for posting this here since it's not where it should be, but I don't have access to the query forum despite registering for the forum. As...

    Started by SassyCheddar‎, 11-05-2015 08:27 PM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 2,266
    11-06-2015, 12:32 PM Go to last post
  15. Riding Elephants

    I have been working on incorporating these flashbacks/dreamscapes into my work. In the story, the father has a psychotic break and the point is to...

    Started by jenc0x‎, 10-22-2015 11:27 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,911
    11-03-2015, 10:55 AM Go to last post
  16. Book Description and Synopsis

    Calling Moderator: Where can I post the synopsis and the blurb for my book for a critique or help? Is this the correct section? Thanks/

    Started by Writers Choice‎, 10-27-2015 08:25 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 3,997
    10-30-2015, 01:55 PM Go to last post
  17. Pride Search Chapter 1 702 words

    This is the first chapter of my lion story which for now I have titled Pride Search. I start with a past to present shift and a present to past...

    Started by caters‎, 10-21-2015 02:30 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 6,285
    10-22-2015, 12:56 PM Go to last post
  18. 'The Turn of a Card' - part 1

    Your offer to critique is most appreciated, thank you in advance for your time and expertise. This chapter occurs 10,500 words into the story. ...

    Started by Isabella du Lac‎, 10-13-2015 06:35 PM
    crime, excerpt, feedback, murder, mystery
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 5,602
    10-17-2015, 08:51 AM Go to last post
  19. Unforeseen Enemy (Rev 2) - first chapter

    *Italicised* ONE The instructions played like a looped audio track in Jack's head. *It's imperative, Jack, wait for the green light. The...

    Started by Carl Magnus‎, 10-11-2015 10:27 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 4,162
    10-17-2015, 01:24 AM Go to last post
  20. Be gentle, but honest with me

    Chapter One, Freedom Honorably discharged from the Army at Fort Bragg, North Carolina, 23 months and 29 days after being taken from him, Lefty again...

    Started by Lefty Insider‎, 10-12-2015 10:32 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,696
    10-13-2015, 11:05 PM Go to last post

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