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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 02:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,843
    08-24-2011, 02:34 PM Go to last post
  1. A scene (YA fantasy)

    Okay, so this scene involves an instance in which one character enters the other's mind, but I keep messing it up. I must have rewritten this seven...

    Started by Delany Sierra Sierra‎, 02-10-2011 02:20 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 3,389
    02-10-2011, 06:17 PM Go to last post
  2. MG, 1st 5p-looksee would be GR8

    This is a MG novel i'm working right now. Cross between a Junie B. Jones and Twilight. (Sorry, Vampires ahead). Would appreciate any feedback...

    Started by Avonne Writer‎, 02-08-2011 10:50 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,858
    02-09-2011, 08:24 AM Go to last post
  3. White Mocha Opening Scene - Critique

    Some of you have helped me so much with this. I wanted to repost because I have changed the opening of my first chapter to begin with the card and...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-08-2011 06:32 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 14
    • Views: 2,748
    02-09-2011, 08:03 AM Go to last post
  4. Bluffers

    Below is the first, short chapter of a novella I've written called 'Bluffers'. Would anyone read further, given this as the book's opening? Cheers. ...

    Started by Matthew Robinson‎, 02-07-2011 03:09 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 3,118
    02-08-2011, 10:20 AM Go to last post
  5. Old Ladies Revised. Contains foul language

    Here is The Old Lady Diaries revised. I am coming up with a new title. Pendragin, I added your book suggestion to my book list. I hope I did better...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 02-05-2011 07:48 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 26
    • Views: 3,544
    02-08-2011, 12:44 AM Go to last post
  6. In need of criticism

    I am new writer, which you may be able to tell by this excerpt from my prologue, that is in need of a critique. No one has read any of it at this...

    Started by James Davis‎, 02-02-2011 12:42 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 1,498
    02-07-2011, 11:30 PM Go to last post
  7. First few pages for critique :)

    Thanks in advance for your time and effort :) I took the critique, I received on the query forum, seriously enough to look up a professional editor...

    Started by Zoe Saadia‎, 02-03-2011 01:38 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 3,476
    02-07-2011, 11:21 PM Go to last post
  8. Bar Scene needs merciless critique please

    Below is another short piece that I just can't decide about. Does it work? Bar scenes are hard at the best of times, I suppose:( It's also from...

    Started by Matthew Robinson‎, 02-07-2011 05:55 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 1,898
    02-07-2011, 11:09 AM Go to last post
  9. Early mornings work, before I go to work. What a bummer: a Sunday morning nightmare

    Those mad times aint gone; the barmy March hare has been dieting all year, getting ready for the title fight. ‘In the red corner! The-...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-06-2011 02:32 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 1,877
    02-07-2011, 09:40 AM Go to last post
  10. A Scene

    Here’s a scene: It is a bright sunny afternoon. The sun is shining so fervently that by looking at the lake, it will hurt your eyes. The water...

    Started by Philip Lee‎, 02-05-2011 07:28 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 2,226
    02-07-2011, 06:25 AM Go to last post
  11. thoughts on paragraph please

    Azrael stood over the corpse of Grant Thompson. The car that had served as his weapon had stopped initially, but panic-stricken by the severity of...

    Started by jay walker‎, 01-21-2011 04:40 AM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 35
    • Views: 10,391
    02-07-2011, 06:19 AM Go to last post
  12. The Old Lady Diaries

    Ok, so while I am thinking more on Beneath the Diamonds I thought I would put up the first two paragraphs for another book I'm working on for a...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 02-02-2011 06:34 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 21
    • Views: 4,739
    02-05-2011, 03:52 PM Go to last post
  13. OK, back from work. Three beers and the mercury is rising. Have it... its going nowhere. I have no inclination, and now I'm gonna take my giant dog out

    Mum said I can ride the horses at daybreak. When daybreak came, mine was the last show on earth. Me and a gelding called Newton Daniel felt the...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-03-2011 01:37 PM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 30
    • Views: 6,229
    02-04-2011, 11:25 PM Go to last post
  14. The Daily Holocaust

    In the dead of night, I am dead, My wife is dead My kids are dead, and my dog sure smells dead. In the light of morning, I am half dead. But...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-01-2011 01:41 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 2,010
    02-03-2011, 07:14 PM Go to last post
  15. Husband has walked out, Realistic? - Gone

    Hi Friends, This is a scene I have written right after Chloe's husband has left her the night before, Valentine's night. I was wondering if this is...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 01-30-2011 09:04 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 22
    • Views: 5,684
    02-03-2011, 04:14 PM Go to last post
  16. Please Critique

    Hi. If anyone has any comments on the extract below, I'd appreciate it. It's like a shadow play, the doctor said. A Chinese shadow play. I'm...

    Started by Zooey Jones‎, 02-01-2011 02:39 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 23
    • Views: 4,798
    02-03-2011, 01:23 PM Go to last post
  17. To prologue or not to prologue?

    I would like a critique on my prologue. Does it give you a hint that the book is supernatural? And when you send your first 10 or so pages to an...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-02-2011 07:12 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,201
    02-03-2011, 06:17 AM Go to last post
  18. Wanring: Sexual/violent material in this post. Dark Erotica. Part 2

    This is part two to the first post. It is the rest of the chapter. Like I said earlier I know it isn't perfect and needs to be edited. Let me know so...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 01-29-2011 10:53 AM
    7 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 7
    • Replies: 64
    • Views: 9,532
    02-02-2011, 09:43 AM Go to last post
  19. A bit of Chapter 1

    Drayden stepped out through the door, the argument still ringing in his ears. He shivered. His eyes began to water. He rubbed and blew his hands...

    Started by Chimere Mba‎, 02-01-2011 11:08 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 2,224
    02-02-2011, 09:25 AM Go to last post
  20. Another Scene, a Fight Scene

    Hand-to-hand combat is tough to write. Well, at least its tough for me, so I've brought it here to be punched up itself. Thanks in advance. ...

    Started by Oisin Ni Bhaoill‎, 01-30-2011 01:46 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,074
    01-31-2011, 07:52 PM Go to last post

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