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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 01:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 985
    Victoria
    08-24-2011, 01:34 PM Go to last post

  1. Can I bother you with another fragment?:)

    I tried to implement all the great advice I've received here previously, cutting those sentences on and on, trying to simplify. I'm afraid it's...

    Started by Zoe Saadia‎, 02-10-2011 11:34 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 88
    Zoe Saadia
    02-11-2011, 12:09 PM Go to last post

  2. Opening of my Young Adult Fantasy-Thriller

    This is the first four pages of the opening chapter of the second draft of my Young Adult Fantasy-Thriller novel. It is book one of three, and I am...

    Started by Cory Warren‎, 02-08-2011 12:06 PM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 17
    • Views: 253
    John Hawkwood
    02-11-2011, 07:50 AM Go to last post

  3. UK based Short Story

    This is a short story I drafted myself whilst bored on a bb...please criticise/praise/donate (that was a joke) Also I would be grateful if...

    Started by Ian Francis‎, 02-04-2011 07:31 AM
    4 Pages •
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 37
    • Views: 449
    Kitty Foyle
    02-11-2011, 04:40 AM Go to last post

  4. A scene (YA fantasy)

    Okay, so this scene involves an instance in which one character enters the other's mind, but I keep messing it up. I must have rewritten this seven...

    Started by Delany Sierra Sierra‎, 02-10-2011 01:20 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 97
    Delany Sierra Sierra
    02-10-2011, 05:17 PM Go to last post

  5. MG, 1st 5p-looksee would be GR8

    This is a MG novel i'm working right now. Cross between a Junie B. Jones and Twilight. (Sorry, Vampires ahead). Would appreciate any feedback...

    Started by Avonne Writer‎, 02-08-2011 09:50 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 123
    John Hawkwood
    02-09-2011, 07:24 AM Go to last post

  6. White Mocha Opening Scene - Critique

    Some of you have helped me so much with this. I wanted to repost because I have changed the opening of my first chapter to begin with the card and...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-08-2011 05:32 AM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 14
    • Views: 247
    Author Pendragin
    02-09-2011, 07:03 AM Go to last post

  7. Bluffers

    Below is the first, short chapter of a novella I've written called 'Bluffers'. Would anyone read further, given this as the book's opening? Cheers. ...

    Started by Matthew Robinson‎, 02-07-2011 02:09 AM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 214
    Miranda Clementine
    02-08-2011, 09:20 AM Go to last post

  8. Old Ladies Revised. Contains foul language

    Here is The Old Lady Diaries revised. I am coming up with a new title. Pendragin, I added your book suggestion to my book list. I hope I did better...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 02-05-2011 06:48 PM
    3 Pages •
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 26
    • Views: 318
    Jena Grace
    02-07-2011, 11:44 PM Go to last post

  9. In need of criticism

    I am new writer, which you may be able to tell by this excerpt from my prologue, that is in need of a critique. No one has read any of it at this...

    Started by James Davis‎, 02-02-2011 11:42 AM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 225
    Zoe Saadia
    02-07-2011, 10:30 PM Go to last post

  10. First few pages for critique :)

    Thanks in advance for your time and effort :) I took the critique, I received on the query forum, seriously enough to look up a professional editor...

    Started by Zoe Saadia‎, 02-03-2011 12:38 PM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 215
    Zoe Saadia
    02-07-2011, 10:21 PM Go to last post

  11. Bar Scene needs merciless critique please

    Below is another short piece that I just can't decide about. Does it work? Bar scenes are hard at the best of times, I suppose:( It's also from...

    Started by Matthew Robinson‎, 02-07-2011 04:55 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 107
    leslee
    02-07-2011, 10:09 AM Go to last post

  12. Early mornings work, before I go to work. What a bummer: a Sunday morning nightmare

    Those mad times aint gone; the barmy March hare has been dieting all year, getting ready for the title fight. ‘In the red corner! The-...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-06-2011 01:32 AM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 225
    martin shaw
    02-07-2011, 08:40 AM Go to last post

  13. A Scene

    Here’s a scene: It is a bright sunny afternoon. The sun is shining so fervently that by looking at the lake, it will hurt your eyes. The water...

    Started by Philip Lee‎, 02-05-2011 06:28 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 156
    Matthew Robinson
    02-07-2011, 05:25 AM Go to last post

  14. thoughts on paragraph please

    Azrael stood over the corpse of Grant Thompson. The car that had served as his weapon had stopped initially, but panic-stricken by the severity of...

    Started by jay walker‎, 01-21-2011 03:40 AM
    4 Pages •
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 35
    • Views: 543
    Matthew Robinson
    02-07-2011, 05:19 AM Go to last post

  15. The Old Lady Diaries

    Ok, so while I am thinking more on Beneath the Diamonds I thought I would put up the first two paragraphs for another book I'm working on for a...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 02-02-2011 05:34 PM
    3 Pages •
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 21
    • Views: 247
    Margaret Compeau
    02-05-2011, 02:52 PM Go to last post

  16. OK, back from work. Three beers and the mercury is rising. Have it... its going nowhere. I have no inclination, and now I'm gonna take my giant dog out

    Mum said I can ride the horses at daybreak. When daybreak came, mine was the last show on earth. Me and a gelding called Newton Daniel felt the...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-03-2011 12:37 PM
    4 Pages •
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 30
    • Views: 354
    martin shaw
    02-04-2011, 10:25 PM Go to last post

  17. The Daily Holocaust

    In the dead of night, I am dead, My wife is dead My kids are dead, and my dog sure smells dead. In the light of morning, I am half dead. But...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-01-2011 12:41 PM
    2 Pages •
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 198
    leslee
    02-03-2011, 06:14 PM Go to last post

  18. Husband has walked out, Realistic? - Gone

    Hi Friends, This is a scene I have written right after Chloe's husband has left her the night before, Valentine's night. I was wondering if this is...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 01-30-2011 08:04 PM
    3 Pages •
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 22
    • Views: 293
    mar quesa
    02-03-2011, 03:14 PM Go to last post

  19. Please Critique

    Hi. If anyone has any comments on the extract below, I'd appreciate it. It's like a shadow play, the doctor said. A Chinese shadow play. I'm...

    Started by Zooey Jones‎, 02-01-2011 01:39 PM
    3 Pages •
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 23
    • Views: 349
    martin shaw
    02-03-2011, 12:23 PM Go to last post

  20. To prologue or not to prologue?

    I would like a critique on my prologue. Does it give you a hint that the book is supernatural? And when you send your first 10 or so pages to an...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-02-2011 06:12 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 118
    Amy Lou
    02-03-2011, 05:17 AM Go to last post

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