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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 02:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,861
    08-24-2011, 02:34 PM Go to last post
  1. Mutants-prologue #2

    This is my revision of the scene. Props to all that helped me thus far. I agree that the info load was too much and I dropped it. So does this read...

    Started by Del‎, 04-15-2011 09:56 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 5,552
    04-17-2011, 11:13 AM Go to last post
  2. ;)First novel. Fantasy. Please critique.

    OK, so I have been writing this for a while, and before I continue, I want to make sure I don't sound like I wrote the whole thing drunk, or...

    Started by imported_Eric Trautmiller‎, 04-09-2011 04:33 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 4,055
    04-10-2011, 06:21 AM Go to last post
  3. Early mornings work, before I go to work. What a bummer: a Sunday morning nightmare

    Those mad times aint gone; the barmy March hare has been dieting all year, getting ready for the title fight. ‘In the red corner! The-...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-06-2011 02:32 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 1,877
    02-07-2011, 09:40 AM Go to last post
  4. Opening Scene - White Chocolate Mocha

    This is the new opening chapter to my first novel. I've posted this many times before with different openings. After the advice I received here, I...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 08-04-2011 02:16 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 2,575
    08-08-2011, 10:49 PM Go to last post
  5. Easy, Breezy, Beautiful - (Copper Glaze Sienna Revised)

    I've worked this over, corrected the mistakes and even had the opportunity to have a published poet give me a fantastic critique! So very excited and...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 08-15-2011 07:00 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 2,928
    08-16-2011, 06:56 AM Go to last post
  6. What I've been working on.

    Sticking to the 1000 word rule I only have enough room to post the prelude to the first chapter, in which character wakes up. I had the...

    Started by Megan McCook‎, 08-30-2011 12:20 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 1,948
    09-11-2011, 02:17 PM Go to last post
  7. Opening few lines

    Before they disintegrate on the wind, before they melt to black, before they sparkle into the sun's glare, I see them for an instant. The eyes, they...

    Started by Josh Maher‎, 11-26-2011 03:21 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 2,893
    12-03-2011, 10:35 AM Go to last post
  8. Page one, PANDORA'S BOX

    Thanks in advance to all who care to comment. PANDORA’S BOX, excerpt. Chapter One. In just a few years, the venture will begin. The...

    Started by n.p.doeleman‎, 03-14-2012 10:06 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 2,589
    03-16-2012, 12:00 PM Go to last post
  9. first few pages of Eternall Yours a Gothic vampire novel set in 1927 Paris

    Partially concealed within the flickering gloom produced by a single candle sat a beautiful pale young woman on a bed of black satin. She stopped...

    Started by mockingbird‎, 12-02-2012 07:57 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    gothic romance., vampire
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 3,580
    12-08-2012, 06:50 PM Go to last post
  10. Rise of the South Prologue

    Syrian-Turkish Border; April 17 With the Americans on the brink of a civil war, Yarden Hassan and Jibril Mohammad arrive in Damascus to meet...

    Started by Mark Raines‎, 02-25-2013 08:03 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 3,814
    02-27-2013, 11:49 PM Go to last post
  11. Lightbulb Another Chance: New Beginning

    I rewrote the beginning to make it maybe less info-dumpy. What do you think?:confused: # I know there’s something big going on when Wally asks...

    Started by Rogue Mutt‎, 05-06-2015 05:12 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 6,094
    05-09-2015, 07:26 AM Go to last post
  12. Dark Tidings

    Here are the first six hundred words from Dark Tidings. I'm hoping to get feedback which will help me improve its appeal. The book has been published...

    Started by Ken Magee‎, 08-27-2016 11:44 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 13
    • Views: 9,863
    08-30-2016, 08:35 PM Go to last post
  13. Another Scene for Critique

    Somehow, I just can't help coming back here when I'm dissatisfied with a piece of writing and my own mind is on the fritz. Your feedback is always...

    Started by Oisin Ni Bhaoill‎, 03-03-2011 08:35 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 2,739
    05-05-2011, 08:45 AM Go to last post
  14. Opening Scene, does it captivate? or irritate? Violence warning...

    Hi everyone, hope you all are well. I have been hacking away at my opening scene, removing unneeded adjectives, sentences and whatnot. Throwing in...

    Started by Miranda Clementine‎, 02-17-2011 09:33 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 2,719
    02-19-2011, 10:13 PM Go to last post
  15. 2022 (sample)

    I don't mind if anyone wants to give me an English lesson but really I want to know if anyone finds this remotley interesting. CHAPTER TWELVE...

    Started by Julian Hulls‎, 01-31-2011 04:44 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 4,645
    04-29-2011, 08:41 AM Go to last post
  16. Beginning or middle?

    This is the beginning two sections of a chapter I am working on in my novel. I am not sure if I should add to the beginning, and make this the...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 01-27-2011 06:01 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 6,079
    01-28-2011, 09:20 AM Go to last post
  17. Look what I found!

    When I was in 9th grade, my World Geography teacher told my class to write a song about any European country and (2 days later) sing it to the class....

    Started by Shaun .‎, 05-05-2011 08:41 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 1,738
    05-06-2011, 02:47 PM Go to last post
  18. Please be honest- am I deluded or not?

    Hello Everyone, This is an extract from something I am writing and I would really like to know what people think. Any comments gratefully...

    Started by Susan B‎, 09-21-2011 06:25 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 2,197
    09-29-2011, 01:26 AM Go to last post
  19. Simple Complications

    So, I have this series, Simple Complications, which I'm releasing on my Tumblr account, which. I'm kind of releasing it like a webcomic, with short...

    Started by Eric Barkman‎, 12-01-2014 10:16 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 6,456
    12-26-2014, 07:43 AM Go to last post
  20. opening paragraphs

    I would appreciate any criticism. Isaac, although in shirtsleeves, was unmindful of the transition from crisp autumn chill to fusty warmth as he...

    Started by n.p.doeleman‎, 03-31-2015 10:23 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 3,271
    04-10-2015, 09:02 AM Go to last post

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