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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 01:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 5,635
    08-24-2011, 01:34 PM Go to last post
  1. Bane of midnight- short story (part 1)

    * my first attempt at writing 3rd person. this is a raw piece i wrote few years ago during my fetish for vampires. now it's fae. :) what do u think?...

    Started by ilkar‎, 07-12-2012 04:35 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 1,247
    08-03-2012, 07:10 PM Go to last post
  2. Meatier?

    Looking at my writing, at least in this book, I have to say that run-on sentences and too many commas (probably there to help you find your way...

    Started by SusanH‎, 08-01-2012 09:41 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,062
    08-02-2012, 03:57 AM Go to last post
  3. Fresh Meat

    Something from the middle of my book-- pretty representative. Thanks for any observations. August 30, 2007 About 6 months ago it dawned on me...

    Started by SusanH‎, 07-31-2012 03:06 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,416
    08-01-2012, 04:51 AM Go to last post
  4. Jealousy in Unexpected Places-Non-fiction piece

    Hi everyone :) If anyone would be willing to let me know what they think, I would highly appreciate it. Jealousy in Unexpected Places by N....

    Started by rogue writer‎, 07-20-2012 09:08 PM
    • Replies: 8
    • Views: 1,801
    07-25-2012, 03:05 PM Go to last post
  5. repost: ch1/pt1

    posting the whole 1st chapter this time, hope it easier to read :) Dorren was numb to the suffering of his body, lost in his labor to all but...

    Started by voodoogator‎, 07-19-2012 02:33 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 1,030
    07-20-2012, 10:20 AM Go to last post
  6. newpost: Ch2/pt1

    Dorren awoke to the sensation of the iron manacles digging into his wrists. His muddled thoughts came into sharp focus with the flash-memories of...

    Started by voodoogator‎, 07-19-2012 02:49 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,072
    07-19-2012, 03:20 AM Go to last post
  7. repost: ch1/pt2

    From on his knees with his chest to the stone, Dorren slid his right hand around the base. Listening for signs of the overseers approach, he slid his...

    Started by voodoogator‎, 07-19-2012 02:40 AM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 739
    07-19-2012, 02:40 AM Go to last post
  8. Short Story-Perspectives-Some Adult Language

    Hi guys :) If any of you would be so kind as to provide me with feedback, I would be most appreciative. I can take it. ...

    Started by rogue writer‎, 07-07-2012 11:10 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,911
    07-15-2012, 09:26 PM Go to last post
  9. No Mercy for a Newbie: The beginning of my thriller Murderhouse

    It's the first 1,000 words. Thanks in advance. -====-==- It is clear that I am dying, though no one has said as much. It is a Tuesday morning...

    Started by johnjwinters‎, 07-11-2012 01:06 PM
    fbi, killer, murderhouse, serial
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,488
    07-14-2012, 01:50 PM Go to last post
  10. Bane... part 2 (had word limit)

    Familiar roof, his idol posters. It was seven am. That was some impression of Quinn D’Arion. Had his relatives been lying? Still, the dream could be...

    Started by ilkar‎, 07-12-2012 04:35 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,003
    07-13-2012, 03:29 AM Go to last post
  11. Is this beginning too dark for Young Adult? Contains violence.

    I suppose rain is fitting for this moment. Standing above a grave wouldn’t feel quite right without rain. It helps wash off the blood, too. My...

    Started by Aeslynn‎, 05-02-2012 09:45 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 2,540
    07-12-2012, 08:39 PM Go to last post
  12. okay, having a go at show-don't-tell, with a different opening

    The body on the slab was not that of Alec Darrow. Surely, it was someone else. Some other poor soul who had found themselves on the business end of...

    Started by Jennifer Hord‎, 06-18-2012 08:22 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,393
    07-12-2012, 04:40 AM Go to last post
  13. First page reincarnation

    REINCARNATION is the third installment of my science fiction saga. All thoughts and comments welcome. Earth's moon, Luna, was clearly visible yet...

    Started by MUSKETTER 3‎, 07-08-2012 06:57 PM
    • Replies: 6
    • Views: 1,511
    07-11-2012, 08:54 AM Go to last post
  14. Sandbar Chapter 1

    Is the first chapter in need of more work? Sandbar Chapter 1 I lie with my face in the sand not because I am done for, but it is the only...

    Started by Tobias Garrett‎, 06-24-2012 08:22 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,335
    06-26-2012, 11:44 AM Go to last post
  15. Prologue of my Drama/Thriller

    I am currently working on a book and I was looking for some critiques for an excerpt from the Prologue of my Drama/Thriller "Save Me." I'm 16 years...

    Started by gregSMT‎, 06-14-2012 11:12 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    drama, mystery, serial killer, thriller
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 2,601
    06-22-2012, 02:57 PM Go to last post
  16. Dream Sequence/Terrifying Memory: Warning - Violent

    WARNING: This passage contains somewhat graphic violence and implies previous murders. ............................................ The...

    Started by CAlexandria‎, 06-20-2012 06:36 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 1,082
    06-21-2012, 04:56 AM Go to last post
  17. first 3 pages of dark humor work#1 (mild profanity 2 curse words)

    I had excerpts of this work published before as mini short stories but this is sort of my prologue / first chapter. Just overall concerned about the...

    Started by s0618345‎, 04-08-2012 08:41 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 1,166
    06-19-2012, 10:26 AM Go to last post
  18. the dilemma of overly florid speech

    I love words. A lot. I'm one of those people that is not past picking up a dictionary and perusing it in moments of severe boredom. But I've been...

    Started by Jennifer Hord‎, 06-16-2012 12:41 PM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 911
    06-18-2012, 05:51 PM Go to last post
  19. Sam to his Friends

    Hi all, I wonder if you would be kind enough to have a look at a piece of my writing and let me know what you think? It is the opening to a...

    Started by Andy Brown‎, 06-17-2012 12:52 AM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 825
    06-18-2012, 08:41 AM Go to last post
  20. for your critiquing pleasure

    I have read and heard it said that the beginning of a story is what hooks the reader. Thus it must be good. Even though I have read some works with...

    Started by Jennifer Hord‎, 06-17-2012 12:36 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 807
    06-18-2012, 05:52 AM Go to last post

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