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Forum: Writing Critique

Only registered members can read and respond to posts in this forum. Post writing samples here, for a private reading.

  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 02:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 14,222
    08-24-2011, 02:34 PM Go to last post
  1. My writing samples

    This from a sci-fi I'm working on now. Thanks. I rolled on my back to face the sky, the stiff pain in my neck reemerged for a moment then...

    Started by 06Casuality‎, 12-09-2013 07:05 AM
    5 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 5
    • Replies: 48
    • Views: 15,711
    05-22-2016, 01:48 PM Go to last post
  2. First Chapter of Berkley Lane: A Tale of Horrors.

    Chapter One: They say it was an asylum, they say a murder took place, but in 1942, it was home to the Mathers. Mr. Mathers was a man in his...

    Started by AC_Corran‎, 02-23-2012 05:07 PM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 3,338
    02-26-2012, 04:16 AM Go to last post
  3. 1st paragraph of my new book.

    135th Berkley Lane, Adel Iowa, had sat virtually untouched for the last decade. Once a proud manor house it now sat lonely and abandoned. The...

    Started by AC_Corran‎, 02-25-2012 10:55 PM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 38
    • Views: 9,817
    02-29-2012, 10:01 PM Go to last post
  4. Prolouge: (Berkley Lane: A Tale of Horrors

    A shadow darted around the corner, closely followed by its owner. Seething with resentment, the proud figure slid from room to room, prowling like...

    Started by AC_Corran‎, 03-02-2012 10:17 AM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 2,085
    03-02-2012, 12:31 PM Go to last post
  5. Page One -- Genre: speculative/urban fantasy

    WARNING: COUPLE SWEAR WORDS, INCLUDING ONE F-BOMB. Hi Everyone, So I know I'm making the typical newbie mistake and jumping right in, whoring...

    Started by Adam Bentley‎, 04-06-2011 03:47 AM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 27
    • Views: 6,379
    04-17-2011, 03:53 PM Go to last post
  6. The Declaration of Unity--Chapter One: 1,200-words, spec-fic/contemporary fantasy

    "R" rated tone and a few expletives. Seeking any and all feedback anyone's willing to offer. Thanks in advance. THE DECLARATION OF UNITY ...

    Started by Adam Bentley‎, 04-10-2012 12:58 AM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 33
    • Views: 7,247
    04-18-2012, 04:34 PM Go to last post
  7. First Paragraphs - comments?

    Lieco. The trademarked name stood out in red letters on blimps that overshadowed the city of Langford. They towered over the slated roofs and brick...

    Started by AdamJoseph‎, 03-14-2012 06:36 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 3,447
    03-16-2012, 08:38 AM Go to last post
  8. The Revenge - Partial First Chapter.

    Chapter 1 - The Theft He carefully hid his motorbike in the foliage on the bank of the lake. He could not afford any surprise sprung by some...

    Started by Adnan Khan‎, 07-01-2011 03:53 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 2,952
    07-04-2011, 11:49 PM Go to last post
  9. Is this beginning too dark for Young Adult? Contains violence.

    I suppose rain is fitting for this moment. Standing above a grave wouldn’t feel quite right without rain. It helps wash off the blood, too. My...

    Started by Aeslynn‎, 05-02-2012 10:45 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 11
    • Views: 7,973
    07-12-2012, 09:39 PM Go to last post
  10. Sergeants

    I was thinking of putting together some cold-war memoirs of the army, and call the collection 'Olive Drab.' This would be the first chapter. See any...

    Started by Al Carty‎, 01-23-2011 03:22 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 5,242
    01-27-2011, 12:13 PM Go to last post
  11. A Note From the Admiral

    A Note From the Admiral I thought about my brother today as I might think of my people from time to time. This memory came for no special reason;...

    Started by alcarty‎, 02-08-2013 03:43 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,504
    02-08-2013, 03:43 PM Go to last post
  12. Beginning of Amethyst

    Hello. I actually haven't been on in several months but I want to get back into posting some things. This is the beginning of my story, which I am...

    Started by Allison McClish‎, 05-11-2011 07:02 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 3,344
    05-18-2011, 04:42 PM Go to last post
  13. Something new and random.

    Hello. I was bored at school and this just kind of... happened. I thought I'd post it and see what you guys think about it. I was thinking of...

    Started by Allison McClish‎, 05-19-2011 07:33 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 1,660
    05-22-2011, 06:49 PM Go to last post
  14. Rinah and the Czezans

    Hello again. I was working on my story, and I found that I like this scene, but I'm not entirely sure if I have the General's responses and such...

    Started by Allison McClish‎, 06-08-2011 08:10 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,710
    06-08-2011, 08:10 PM Go to last post
  15. Beginning of Amethyst

    So I finished writing my book, but I wanted to put the beginning up here. It is the part I've had the most issues with getting right, I think, so...

    Started by Allison McClish‎, 01-28-2012 10:32 PM
    allison, alumbia, amethyst, chemay, mcclish
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 2,655
    01-29-2012, 01:44 PM Go to last post
  16. Exert from Amethyst

    This is an exert from my fantasy/science fiction novel in progress, currently going by the name Amethyst. A set of new characters are introduced...

    Started by Allison McClish‎, 03-03-2012 07:19 PM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 3,743
    03-11-2012, 12:29 PM Go to last post
  17. To prologue or not to prologue?

    I would like a critique on my prologue. Does it give you a hint that the book is supernatural? And when you send your first 10 or so pages to an...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 02-02-2011 07:12 PM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,389
    02-03-2011, 06:17 AM Go to last post
  18. Husband has walked out, Realistic? - Gone

    Hi Friends, This is a scene I have written right after Chloe's husband has left her the night before, Valentine's night. I was wondering if this is...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 01-30-2011 09:04 PM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 22
    • Views: 6,097
    02-03-2011, 04:14 PM Go to last post
  19. Opening Scene - Revised

    Sorry if this is double posted. I've been working on my opening scene again and have tried to consider all the wonderful critiques I've received....

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 05-17-2011 11:02 AM
    5 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 5
    • Replies: 41
    • Views: 8,020
    05-20-2011, 03:11 AM Go to last post
  20. Sugar Me Sweet

    Hi everyone, it's been a while since I've posted anything. I'm taking a break from my book to work on my writing and trying to do small pieces so I...

    Started by Amy Lou‎, 06-04-2011 03:16 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 2,340
    06-05-2011, 05:05 AM Go to last post

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