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Forum: Writing Critique

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  1. Exclamation Sticky Thread Sticky: What to expect when submitting work for critique: *Read Before You Post*

    Please limit posts to 1000 words or less. If your post contains graphic sexual content, violence or obscenity, please make a note in the subject...

    Started by Victoria‎, 08-24-2011 01:34 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 13,333
    08-24-2011, 01:34 PM Go to last post
  1. Simon Says

    Started by martin shaw‎, 02-21-2011 01:31 PM
    • Replies: 0
    • Views: 2,989
    12-31-1969, 04:00 PM Go to last post
  2. Bit of dialogue

    Whee! I'm first. The following passage is from a story set in a typical fantasy setting - vaguely Medieval European, but not Earth, so no need to...

    Started by John Hawkwood‎, 01-07-2011 11:10 AM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 3,189
    01-14-2011, 05:44 PM Go to last post
  3. On Instamatic

    http://www.upload-jpg.com/DELIMAGE/3e414922f7 It’s her, the girl. Who?

    Started by martin shaw‎, 01-15-2011 05:18 AM
    • Replies: 1
    • Views: 1,847
    01-15-2011, 06:04 AM Go to last post
  4. opening paragraph

    Chapter 1 Azrael levitated above the shrivelled ninety year old body of Mrs Wakelin and watched her exhale her final breath. He waited patiently for...

    Started by jay walker‎, 01-12-2011 02:12 AM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 21
    • Views: 8,687
    01-16-2011, 01:27 AM Go to last post
  5. Not sure what to make of it...

    Her intuition sounded – something wasn't right. Six minutes till six -- It sounded again. Tristan Isolde Nasari relaxed her tortured gaze into...

    Started by Author Pendragin‎, 01-15-2011 01:59 PM
    4 Pages
    1 2 3 ... 4
    • Replies: 37
    • Views: 9,209
    01-17-2011, 08:38 AM Go to last post
  6. Simple Enough??

    Ok, Sat suggested keeping it simple -- 250 to 300 words -- so that's what I did. I just wanted a simple story. I started with the first sentence and...

    Started by Author Pendragin‎, 01-17-2011 05:59 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 5,352
    01-19-2011, 04:59 PM Go to last post
  7. Tips for New Years Eve Party Planning

    New Years Eve is an exciting holiday for many. It is traditionally one of the holidays in which most people participate in parties with friends and...

    Started by johnbair johnbair‎, 01-19-2011 12:09 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 10
    • Views: 7,624
    01-21-2011, 12:11 PM Go to last post
  8. The NightCap

    Ok, so I reworked the passage using shorter sentences, forbidding anything from impeding the unadulterated flow of prose. Interim, during the...

    Started by Author Pendragin‎, 01-20-2011 12:56 PM
    • Replies: 9
    • Views: 2,915
    01-23-2011, 09:07 AM Go to last post
  9. A bit of me book... It needs work. I like this, but didn't send it

    “Troop-t-r-o-o-p, shun!” he bawled. We instantly sprang to attention, as Major Part turned to face us. Immediately he glanced over in my...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 01-16-2011 09:45 AM
    3 Pages
    1 2 3
    • Replies: 27
    • Views: 4,250
    01-24-2011, 01:24 AM Go to last post
  10. Gliders............... re-jiggered

    Gliders ‘That was a bomb, Sir, but in case you didn’t know, it’s blown a great big gaping wound in your head. Hello! Hello, hello. HA! Ha,...

    Started by martin shaw‎, 01-24-2011 03:03 PM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 2,254
    01-25-2011, 11:48 PM Go to last post
  11. First Chapter of my novel - Sample

    He could hear the heavy footsteps closing behind him as he ran through the narrow path of the wide spread garden in front of the house; in front of...

    Started by Shrinidhi Kcoundinya‎, 01-24-2011 11:18 PM
    • Replies: 3
    • Views: 2,203
    01-26-2011, 09:07 AM Go to last post
  12. Sergeants

    I was thinking of putting together some cold-war memoirs of the army, and call the collection 'Olive Drab.' This would be the first chapter. See any...

    Started by Al Carty‎, 01-23-2011 02:22 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 15
    • Views: 4,669
    01-27-2011, 11:13 AM Go to last post
  13. On Instamatic

    Click on the picture On Instamatic It’s her,

    Started by martin shaw‎, 01-15-2011 06:02 AM
    • Replies: 4
    • Views: 2,329
    01-27-2011, 12:18 PM Go to last post
  14. Part of the First Chapter...With Paragraph Breaks!

    Hopefully my last one will be taken down by the moderators since it's pretty much impossible to read...sorry for the repeat! Anyway, this is the...

    Started by Oisin Ni Bhaoill‎, 01-26-2011 08:51 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 17
    • Views: 3,586
    01-27-2011, 06:33 PM Go to last post
  15. Beginning or middle?

    This is the beginning two sections of a chapter I am working on in my novel. I am not sure if I should add to the beginning, and make this the...

    Started by Margaret Compeau‎, 01-27-2011 05:01 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 5,570
    01-28-2011, 08:20 AM Go to last post
  16. The Beach

    Hey peeps, I submit the following for your judgement and would love to hear your honest opinion. You will notice that it contains absolutely no...

    Started by good morning‎, 01-20-2011 10:06 PM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 16
    • Views: 10,149
    01-28-2011, 09:22 AM Go to last post
  17. I would LOVE to know what you think

    This is a sample taken from my blog. "Life is many things, it's hard, complicated, challenging. spontaneous, full of surprises good and bad, it...

    Started by Patrick Sweeney‎, 01-28-2011 08:20 AM
    • Replies: 5
    • Views: 2,898
    01-28-2011, 10:29 AM Go to last post
  18. The first few words of my opening scene, Please critique

    "One o'clock! One o'clock!" "Honey, calm down, she's sixteen she can make choices for herself." "She was supposed to be back by ten! What the hell...

    Started by Chimere Mba‎, 01-28-2011 01:12 AM
    2 Pages
    1 2
    • Replies: 12
    • Views: 2,352
    01-28-2011, 04:50 PM Go to last post
  19. Was it something I said?

    I don't really know where to post this question, so I'm posting it to the forum in question. In a recent post on this forum, I made grammatical...

    Started by Shaun .‎, 01-29-2011 07:13 AM
    • Replies: 2
    • Views: 2,026
    01-29-2011, 07:40 AM Go to last post
  20. Desperate For Critique!

    Hello All, Below is a draft of the first few paragraphs of a novel I'm attempting. The history is accurate, also use of terms like "tis" etc. Is...

    Started by Julie Harris‎, 01-28-2011 10:06 AM
    • Replies: 7
    • Views: 2,508
    01-29-2011, 02:22 PM Go to last post

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